Tonight is the night

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by iona_cullen, Jan 10, 2008.

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  1. iona_cullen

    iona_cullen Member

    I think i'm going to actually go through with it tonight. I've had the <mod. edit-gentlelady_methods>for a while now and have thought of it everyday. But today really is just taking the biscuit. I don't know how to tell anyone, so i'm telling you guys. I know I seem like a quitter and very weak, and i guess I am. I am not half as strong as i thought I were. I can only pray that people will forgive me, and God will hav mercy. The last thing I want is to go to hell. Please pray that I get to heaven - even if you don't believe in God. Which I know it aint easy too. I tried calling the doctors today in order to get some help - they don't have an appointment for another week! I know i'm not gonna last that long. It's tonight.
    Goodbye and take care evryone. Don't give up like me, I wish I had your strength.
    xxx
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 12, 2008
  2. LILICHIPIE

    LILICHIPIE Well-Known Member

    PLEASE DONT.

    dont know you but please come to the forum or PM me and we discuss about it.
     
  3. timmytiger

    timmytiger New Member

    this is really sad i think im going to jump tonight
     
  4. LILICHIPIE

    LILICHIPIE Well-Known Member

    come to the forum and well talk about it. dont do it
     
  5. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    iona,

    weak ? suicide is the hardest and bravest things to do, to not wake up and see a new day, a summers dawn, hear children laugh, hear bird song.
    never to fall in love again or to feel love.
    there is so much more in this world to do and see and to commit an act to prevent yourself from seeing the best part of life is very brave.

    then there is your family and friends, how will they feel and act?

    suicide is like throwing a pebble in a pond and watching the ripples spread out, the repercussions go on and on.

    take a moment to think again hun.

    stay safe

    andy
     
  6. SkyHigh

    SkyHigh Guest

    I was going to yesterday but the object wasn't sharp enough and now I'm left with a red line on my wrist.
     
  7. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    There is so much to live for Iona. Please don't give up. Your loved ones will miss you when your gone. Come to the chatroom and talk to us.
     
  8. iona_cullen

    iona_cullen Member

    It's so easy for everyone to say that I have so much to live for. But there is no one else in my life, i've isolated myself. No one would even notice. I haven't done it yet, cuz I am scared. But even more scared of being alive. It's as if God, doesn't even love me any more. I don't mean to sound so patheitc, but i haven't the strength to live and no one would miss me. I don't mean to upset anyone, if I am I apologise. I hope in time you will forgive me. I just need to get away from this world, there is nothing but pain in it. My whole life has just involved me struggling to survive. Enough is enough. I'm sorry to sound so morbid. Just please pray for me, I really don't want to go to hell...
     
  9. astella

    astella Well-Known Member

    What reason could God possibly have for not loving one of its creations anymore? Do you believe in a god that petty? If your god has ever loved you, it still loves you.
     
  10. SoulRiser

    SoulRiser Well-Known Member

    How much of life have you seen? I know there's a lot of pain in it, but there's also a lot of great things (and people) in it too... they're just sort of harder to find. Those great things are what I live for. If they didn't exist, I would surely feel the same way you do.... please stick around to find some of those great things. Like people who would give their life to save someone else, or would go out of their way to help a complete stranger, or who would always insist on doing what's right no matter how much money they were offered, or how much pain they were threatened with. They do exist, but they're rare. I think they're worth sticking around for. Even better, try to be one of them.
     
  11. shazzer

    shazzer Well-Known Member

    Hi Iona
    I know you feel that nobody cares but what about your family how they would feel if you went through with it. God I've tried to kill myself so many times and I've caused so much pain to the ones who love me and thats when I haven't succeed so I can only imagine the pain would be so much more if I did it again and I actually succeeded. I feel suicidal all the time have the thoughts every single day and I can't say that i wouldn't try again I most probably will but I have caused damage to mybody through overdosing as I now have kidney failure so if I took any overdose now even a small one it would most likely kill me.
    I really hope you will reconsider your decision come and talk to us on here maybe we can be of some help
    shazzer
     
  12. iwillbeok

    iwillbeok Active Member

    We can always talk about it. We can always talk you through it. ALWAYS.

    Don't do it, Iona.
     
  13. Bellpower20

    Bellpower20 New Member

    Your post made me cry…and I almost never cry. I completely relate to your feelings. I’ve decided that Sunday morning will be my last day. I don’t want to die, but I can’t handle the pain anymore.

    Although I don’t believe in God, I wish I could talk with you. Nobody understands me in my hell hole and everyday my sister threatens to take away the internet; my only connection to others of the same mind as I.

    I don’t want to feed you mindless reasons for living, but deep, deep, deep down somewhere in me, I want to believe that things could be better. Maybe, I’m just one day from meeting those people who will help me find the happiness I so desperately crave.

    However, I don’t know that those people exist, so I will pray that your God understands the unbearable pain that you are going through. And hopefully, He will realize that the world He created desperately needs His attention.
     
  14. titanic

    titanic Well-Known Member

    NO. I'll pray for you that you will LIVE and find peace in your heart and soul. (((hugs)))
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 11, 2008
  15. LILICHIPIE

    LILICHIPIE Well-Known Member

    How are you doing Iona? I hope you did not do something bad..:dry:
     
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