Tonight

[DownwardSpiral]

Its inevitable.

 

[DownwardSpiral]

I am sorry to have done this. I tried to make it. I tried to get help. Nothing worked. The thoughts wont go away. No matter what I do they will be here. I didn’t want to hurt anybody. You are the reason I tried this long. Nobody can help me. The roller coaster goes up and down. I cant really enjoy the ups if I know the downs will be coming. The last two weeks were good. I was awake. Energetic. Enjoying work and life. Then, the cart goes over the hill and comes crashing down.

 

[Jenny]

Hi there,

Sorry it's taken a few hours for a reply to your post.. I have only just seen it. Please don't harm yourself tonight.. or have you done something to yourself already? I can really hear your pain in this post.. i just wish there was something i could say or do that would help?

You said that you have been feeling good for the past couple of weeks.. I'm sorry to hear that things have taken a turn for the worse again.. but hold on, because things won't always be this bad.. they can and will be good again. You will feel energetic and awake once more.

Here if you wanna talk
:hug:
Jenny x

 

[Persephone]

I do hear you loud and clear. I know where you are though I don't know the path that led you there - maybe it's all the same path. Please stay and talk with me. I am stranger who needs you right now. A part of your mind, like mine, knows there must be a better way. Let's try to find it together. What can we lose but pain?

 

[Anime-Zodiac]

No one wants you to harm yourself or worse. Whats been making you have these thoughts?

 

[DownwardSpiral]

Thank you for the support. I wrote my note. Drove to the store. Bought sleeping pills. I had every intention of taking the pills and using the blade. Instead I got home, took a couple of the sleeping pills so that I would go to sleep and not harm myself.

 

[Jenny]

I'm so glad that you didn't harm yourself last night.. how are you feeling today?

 

[DownwardSpiral]

I am worn out. I still feel as though I can do it. I have not been eating. I have been getting home from work at 5 and sleeping until the next morning. One day at a time.