Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by GoldenPsych, May 21, 2008.

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  1. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I am feeling crap and I want to go out and get what I need to do it all. I am feeling so down and on edge and can't cope at the moment at all. I can't relax as of the way I am feeling and don't know what to do. One way I am scarde that I will do something stupid tonight and try and end it all and that I hope that my housemate stays then on the other hand I hope she goes out so I can do what I need to do. So I don't know what to do or how I should be feeling at the moment.

    Was supposed to have exams this week but decided that I can't do them at the moment as I don't wanna have another thing messed up. I am still taking my medication but this past weeks I have felt as though I am losing it and that I am having a breakdown. I don't know where to go or what to do! I want these feelings to end!
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    sorry you are feeling so awful...maybe you should talk with your MD about the effectiveness of the medication...often times, med levels have to be changed or the meds themselves may need to be switched...hope things look up soon, big hugs, J
  3. mortdesinos

    mortdesinos Well-Known Member

    Skipping your finals will not make you feel any better, so it's probably best that you try to find some way to cope for now and take your exams. Take things one day at a time. Feel better soon!
  4. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I have informed the college about what is going on...well not in detail so i will be taking exams later in the yr.

    It is 2late now anyway as i missed an exam today so nothing i can do bout it now.
  5. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    The housemate has gone out for the evening. I have me a bottle of wine and am planning on just having that and watching Desperate Housewives. Maybe sticking some really loud music on and going a bit mad. Lets annoy the neighbours, who cares.

    There is nothing in the house that i can do anything with unless I stab myself or cut. I dont think i could stab myself, would require a lot of alcohol and i only have one bottle wine which will not get me drunk.

    She has just txt me saying that she will be out all night so technically.... well.
  6. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I've not cut in so long.

    There is a razor and i keep looking at it. I want to use it! I want to get some release!
  7. Gunner12

    Gunner12 Well-Known Member


    They help me let out some stress.
  8. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I dont have any - doesnt work for me anyway - i get even more worked up as cant do it and get any further!
  9. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    Rah- was lying in bed for over an hour - cant sleep so had to take a sleeping pill. Now I only have one left. I thinks me will have to go back to doc to sort something else out. So now I am gonna stay up for another 30or so mins til I start to hallucinate then I will go back to bed. When the hallucinations start I know tht is wen I know I will sleep. lol.

    My BF does not like me taking them as he says i go really weird on them. Think the wine has worn on enough now so it is safe. Dam me not sleeping. Cant cope with this anymore!
  10. Gunner12

    Gunner12 Well-Known Member

    Have you tried going for a walk in the woods or the countryside?
  11. malenka

    malenka Member

    Oh love. Life is just starting for you. Try and push aside all them negative thoughts. If you are not in a state to look after your exams, they can wait, is not end of the world. If the medication you are on is not working, get yourself back to your doctor, maybe they can offer you speak with someone that can help you find a way out of these bad feelings?
    Every time you become low like that get out, run, walk, get it out of your system...or just get a really good book, they only cost 50p in charity shops. Wine is so not helping, it just makes you feel even lower,try not to drink when you feel like that!
    Should you be even drinking while on medication? Don't mean to tell you off hun but if you are not supposed to, instead of making you better it makes you twice as bad!

    P,S Don't you dare giving your flat mate a horror of her life! Oh flat mates can be annoying, but, do you really hate her that much to do it to her?
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