Tonight

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by brituc1, Jun 16, 2011.

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  1. brituc1

    brituc1 Member

    I've been thinking about it off & on for a few months but I think tonight is the night. I've alienated all of my friends, quit school and my job because I'm afraid to leave my apartment unless I have to. Gotten so far in debt that I'm being a drain on my parents. I'm 26 years old and constantly make the wrong decisions. I don't wanna do it but I'm scared to death and miserable all the time. I've tried therapy and meds but nothing works. I feel like a whiny b*tch complaining; I mean, hell, everyone has their problems. I know if I do something that it's really gonna hurt my family, but I keep feeling that they'd be better off.
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    They wouldn't be better off without you. Do any of them know how you feel?
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    perhaps time to go to hospital for a stay try newer meds out Your parents will suffer greatly and they won't get over it hun get help for you now.
     
  4. tenholehweels

    tenholehweels Well-Known Member

    please don't.

    I know how your suffering trust me..i do, i am 41 and disabled
    and my wife of 20yrs left me.

    Do i have all the answers? no, of course not.

    But maybe just give it a little time, a little time.

    there are some good people here,they have already helped me.

    just hang on..to something anything.
     
  5. brituc1

    brituc1 Member

    To WildCherry: No, I've been afraid to tell them because I didn't wanna be a burden and give them one extra thing to worry about. They know I'm in a financial toilet and my sister is the only person that knows I dropped outta college.

    To total eclipse: I checked into a hospital through the ER a couple of months ago and spent the night. They were the ones that scheduled me into therapy. The problem is that it takes anywhere from two weeks to a month and half to get an appointment so it feels like I'm not getting much out of it. Without insurance, this is the only place I can afford. And as far as meds go, I've tried so many different SSRIs and SNRIs and antianxiolytics and several other meds since high school that I'm almost loathe to try anymore.
     
  6. Constantinos

    Constantinos Well-Known Member

    Hello brituc1,

    First your family would not be "better of" without you, i am sure they love you and want you, we also want you. Additionally we here won't "better of" with you, i personally consider it very positive that you take a few moments to come to this forum and register and post your feelings and thoughts.

    You say that you constantly take wrong decisions, we all take both wrong and right decisions, this is normal and part of life as no one of us is perfect. I may take a wrong decision and then i may regret taking that decision, this is absolutely normal.

    Regarding medication, from past experience i know that not all medicine will work with all people, having said this you will find at least one medicine that will help you, try going to a new psychiatrist if possible and see what he/she thinks.

    You also therapy doesn't work, from past experience again i know that you need to find the correct therapist - you won't be able to get help from any therapist - you need to feel you can trust your therapist, you need to feel accepted from your therapist - both are very important. I would recommend you search for a new therapist that you think you match.


    I want you to hold onto what you have said here.

    Suicide is not something that we choose; suicidal thoughts is caused by what happened, the important thing to remember is that whatever happened it can be dealt with. It might sound easy to say and difficult to get it done, I understand this feeling but believe me it's not as hard as you think it is.
     
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