Fuck you, Lucas. You figure that because I'm "changing" or something that you don't want to be there for me anymore? You're the only one that knows I want to kill myself and wake up every morning wondering if that day will be the day I make the final call. You're the closest person to me, the only person I can trust, my only friend. Up and left me now I'm all alone and you can't even talk to me anymore. I trusted you, you fucker. Lost all my other friends and you've been there for me for years. I can't even go out of the house cause I'm socially xxxx and no reason to leave the house. There are only a few reasons I decide not to kill myself. You're not on that list anymore. You know how I feel about life and it's uselessness and you agreed with me on that saying I shouldn't kill myself because it would hurt you and it would be selfish, I think I should kill myself cause I know you would be affected by it. That would get you back. Thanks for ditching me. I don't know what true friends are because I have no friends. that's my rant for the night wanted that to get off my chest somewhere but I can't yell around the house because others are here. I need to cool off or something. FUCK!