Well, as the title suggests, I'm to the point where I've had my first 'too deep' cut. (I only have two lines I cut. I don't do many at the surface..I only have been delving deep. I do it in the shower, so it can get cleaned out as I go and thus clean-up is almost-nonexistent. MY STORY BEGINS THERE. ..doing what's become a morning ritual...soap, scrub, shampoo, shave...cut. This morning before work I was cutting the one on my right side (1 left, 1 right) and as I was I felt a quick sting and a quick drip forming...way faster than ever before. That scared me so I stopped that one and got out the shower, put my little rainbow bandaid on it as usual and didn't think more of it. *this is where things begin to get worse* I had been at work for about an hour, when I look down and see two red lines. I wondered why they were showing up on my SHIRT and pulled it up. My pants looked something out of a war movie. The right-front of them were gooey, warm, red and wet. I started freaking out. This wasn't supposed to happen...especially at WORK...as soon as I realized what was going on, a person in my store asked me to go and help them... ...I don't think I've ever talked that quietly..or worked the register so quickly just to get them out of there. I started holding a bag in front of it to hide it from all the customers...though before I did that, this one guy just looked at me...I think he knew.... I was so scared of what was going to happen...I didn't know if I was going to pass out...bleed all over the place...have to work the rest of my shift...(I thought I would have to...so helplessness set in..) Lo and behold, my manager eventually (I don't know if I'm happy for it or not..) asked why I was carrying a bag around. I told her just "I'm bleeding" and went back to the desk. She kept asking...and...I couldn't tell her...just couldn't...so I was just silent...She asked me if I wanted to go home. I (over?)enthusiastically accepted...I had no idea what I was going to do if I'd had to stick out the next seven hours at work...or if I'd even be alive/awake for them. So, after I left...I went to Walmart...after going into my bank to take money out to fetch myself some gauze and tape and began to try to stop-up my leaking self...I was in the bathroom there for what felt like an hour, wiping blood like nuts and felt like I was still losing ground. Eventually though (thank God), it stopped and i was able to cover it correctly without more coming out. Deciding to let it clot more before testing it, I stayed standing as long as I could without putting too much stress on my handiwork. I eventually got back into my car and back home without more bleeding. I've been in my PJs for a few hours now and even conked out for an hour or two with my legs funkily placed without any ill effect. ...I can't say this is going to make me stop forever..but this is the beginning of the end (I hope) of my cutting days. ...I refuse to have to make like M*A*S*H or E.R. every time I cut. That would mean epic amounts of effort for what's supposed to be a hidden release. I think I read a post like this before...and swore that that would never be me.... Well...look at me now. So, please...if you're just starting to cut/SI/whatever...stop.... Just stop.. Thank you, SF, again, for making a place safe for me to post this... - Henry ...I hope this doesn't get me modded/banned... I...I had to tell someone..