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too deep

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by total eclipse, Mar 15, 2010.

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  1. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    The pain is so deep i can't breath dam hate inside me fills me with sadness dam tears flowing Oh iwish to god i knew how to stop this I understand it is me all of it I have no control over this pain this sadness it seems to grab hold and takes the life right out of me. My back is breaking my chest full of pain I don't want this anymore these attacks are killing me I can't live like this falling apart over stupidist thing falling apart dam it iam so pathetic and weak i wish to god i just want all of it to end ido How how do i get through this when i have no strength left in me to do it
  2. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    Let us help you through it violet.

    Possibly taking a break may do it too...
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    im sorry i want so much to not be so weak i want so much to stay strong i don't know where all the pain comes from the sadness so much of it
    i know and pray that someday i can just go away No one deserves to be in this kind of pain Therapy and meds only keep me stable somewhat but triggers they can't be stopped controlled dam triggers are what killing me there has to be a way out of all this god somehow
  4. MadeOfGlass

    MadeOfGlass Well-Known Member

    you can be strong-you helped me be strong. we're here for you if you need us.
  5. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    you are not pathetic or weak hon

    you're stronger than I am

    I spent this morning in my doctor's office trying not to have a full breakdown, then having a primal scream session in the parking lot, a fight with my wife about dinner and it's taken me until now to just be able to look at the forum

    I fought and screamed my way through this day but I made it

    you are stronger than I am - I know you can get through this

    keep talking to us and let us help get you through this
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I wish i could scream but its bedtime here would scare everyone. Just took another hot bath seem to be doing that alot. I am glad you made it through the day I hope your wife understands. I keep everything bottled inside me the it erupts like a volcano burning pain everywhere I am okay now just so very tired and sad Each time i think okay i can't get worse but it is and i don't want to keep going there i don't want all this pain and sadness i wish there was someway to shut if off god i hate me so much sometimes thanks for talking with me i am going to try to sleep tomorrow is another day hopefully no more triggers thanks for caring everyone
  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I hope you have a peaceful rest tonight violet and may tomorrow bring a new ray of hope into your life. i am sorry you feel you need to hold everything in until you erupt. Try not to let it build to that point. If you need to scream, do it. I don't care if you wake up the entire town. Anything it takes to get you through. i wish we had an on-off switch too. Let us know how you are hun. :hug:
  8. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    ((((HUGS))))...not much help at the moment Violet but can see you're in a lot of pain...take care
  9. Raphael1

    Raphael1 Well-Known Member

    violet I'm here. ((hugs))
  10. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    The sun is out i will try to enjoy it before i go to a thousand things to day Wish this dam chest pain would leave i even woke up with it. Emotionally i am better not so much sadness or pain thank you all for getting me thru a very rough night. lol no screaming allowed i guess next time i will go outside and let it all out with the coyotes and wolfs i will be okay just so very tired now take care okay i appreciate all your support
  11. peacegirl

    peacegirl Well-Known Member

    Why can you get through this? Because God gave you the strength to do this. Please hold on violet. You have so much to give. I just hope you realize this before you do anything to hurt yourself. It would be a dammmm shame, excuse my language. :(
  12. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    I wish kind people like you didn't have to suffer like this. You help so many people here, and many care about you. Please remember that.

    Is there anything I can do?
  13. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    thanks just talking to me helps thanks i need to breath so chest pain goes away I hope you are doing okay today if my chest pain doesn't go away soon i will go in and get it checked out but i thing it is due to sadness thats all. take care going to try to rest before work and tommorrow i will tackle income tax forms ahahah. just got to take one day at a time and get through it. Thanks to you and this forum i got thru last night and this morning I don't know why i feel so sad but i am glad i can just come here and know it will be okay because you all understand thank you
  14. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    I have chest pains too, maybe it is a symptom. Still, it's a good idea to see the doctor just incase.

    I'm glad you're doing better. I wish there was more I could do.
  15. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I'm so glad that your one day turned into another. And I hope that your days keep going that way violet!! You are such a strong person. Keep holding on to that strength. And on the days that it feels like it's slipping away, turn to those that care for you here. There are so many good people here that truly do want to help you. :arms:
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