too-demanding boyfriend...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by wonderer, Jan 21, 2009.

  1. wonderer

    wonderer Well-Known Member

    My boyfriend is being way too demanding of me time-wise, and idk what to do about it. I'm student teaching this semester, and working, and taking classes, so I get up at 4 AM, go to my student teaching, get home at four, go to work, usually have about an hour of free time, then go to bed so I can get up again the next morning and do it again. That hour of free time is time for me to eat, shower, and get ready for the next day. Its not rec. time really...

    Today I got home, and he sent me an IM saying he was kinda depressed because we just got back from break, we're on the second day of classes, and he's only seen me for half an hour, and that half an hour wasn't even alone (his roomie, who is also one of my best friends, was there too) and that he felt excluded from our conversation, so it was like he didn't see me at all. I told him going into this that he would probably only see me on weekends, asked if he would be ok with that, and he assured me he would be. Now he's clearly not. From what I know, he spent the entire day moaping around.

    I'm really torn because I do care about him a lot, and I know his brother attempted suicide two weeks ago and he's been rather shaken up by that. However, I don't want to feel like I have to spend ALL my free time with him so he gets enough, or like I should be hanging out with him alone rather than with my other friends or with a group of our friends. I know he's having a rough time, but I have been too, and I don't feel like its fair for him to be acting this way. I told him we should talk Fri. evening, because this isn't something I want to discuss online while I'm at work. I want to be supportive, but I'm just really really mad at him for acting this way. Its not like I'm TRYING to avoid him, I just literally don't have the time. He's been very clear that he doesn't want to break up, he's just not happy and thinks things need to change. I don't think I CAN give him what he thinks he needs, but I don't want to break up with him either, but I also don't want to be the cause of him consistantly being unhappy...

    It'll probably depend a lot on how our talk goes when we have it, but I really don't know what to do with the situation...
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Yea let us know how the talk goes.
    From what you've described I'd think it'd be very frustrating and trying for you to remain in this relationship.
    Don't let guilt from his life situation sway your decision on whether to be with him or not. That is too much to carry on your shoulders.
    Whatever you decide, good luck. I hope your decision leaves you feeling a little lighter :hug:
  3. porcelain child

    porcelain child Well-Known Member

    How did the talk go?