too many losses so soon

[icequeen]

i feel nothing...empty..like a wilted flower
i try to think of you but conjure nothing
i am dying slowly, slowly but surely
this world holds nothing not even pain
the effort of living is hard
the desire of dying is stronger
but again i fail

i hear you calling my name
i see your eyes reflecting betrayal
you only ever wanted me with you
and now you feel i have abandoned you
but i have not, i need time
i dont know where or who i am
give me time and i will be there

i feel your pain yet feel nothing
i hear your cries yet hear nothing
i see your fear yet see nothing
i touch your hand yet you are not here
i open my eyes and am blind
i open my heart and i am dead
...dont tell me it will be alright
...it will never be alright

i think of the pain i put you through
my heart doesnt miss a beat
i am already dead
the pain i caused you was selfish
but you wanted to live
you fought, you won
then i let you down and you left
but still you call to me
where are you i hear you say
i will be there, please dont go away
let me say goodbye to these mortal souls
then we will have a million tomorrows
no more pain and no more sorrow
bliss

 

[total eclipse]

Your love one would not want you to leave but to heal and go on for both of you hugs