The past few days I have realized how many mistakes I have made in my life and how I am paying for them now. My first relationship I was crazy in love with her for years. It was a long distance relationship and I got too possecive in the fear of losing her she told me she wasn't happy so we broke up. Second relationship I rushed in as I was tired of being alone only lasted 2 months. Next relationship I met someone from this site. She was there for me but lived far away she would still cheer me up I left her as I was just scared of being in another long distance relationship and met someone else soon after. During all this time I had gone through high school and college. During my first year of college I smoked soo much pot I was useless in my lessons but still managed to pass. My second year I was going through my first break up I drank smoked cut frequently and stopped going in for most of my days. Everyone was applying for uni I did not as I thought I would not pass. Results day came I passed and it was too late to apply for uni. So i got a job at a cinema that was 9 months ago I have been soo miserable since then the past 2 months I have picked up smoking pot again and smoke every night just so I can relax. Now when i see my friends and they are all talking about uni I cannot stand them or myself and then I realize that I have nothing in common with these people I had soo much in common with before. I am soo depressed I can' stand myself or my gf, everything just seems too much my big dream at the moment would be just to pack a bag get my passport hop on a plane and never come back, just to start fresh just so I am no where near this place. Does anyone else have that where they just dream of being somewhere else where you can start fresh leave the depressed old you behind and carry on. Because I can honestly say I can't remember the last time I was truely happy.