Too many mistakes

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by MaNg0s, Aug 27, 2009.

  1. MaNg0s

    MaNg0s Well-Known Member

    The past few days I have realized how many mistakes I have made in my life and how I am paying for them now. My first relationship I was crazy in love with her for years. It was a long distance relationship and I got too possecive in the fear of losing her she told me she wasn't happy so we broke up.

    Second relationship I rushed in as I was tired of being alone only lasted 2 months. Next relationship I met someone from this site. She was there for me but lived far away she would still cheer me up I left her as I was just scared of being in another long distance relationship and met someone else soon after.

    During all this time I had gone through high school and college. During my first year of college I smoked soo much pot I was useless in my lessons but still managed to pass.

    My second year I was going through my first break up I drank smoked cut frequently and stopped going in for most of my days. Everyone was applying for uni I did not as I thought I would not pass. Results day came I passed and it was too late to apply for uni.

    So i got a job at a cinema that was 9 months ago I have been soo miserable since then the past 2 months I have picked up smoking pot again and smoke every night just so I can relax.

    Now when i see my friends and they are all talking about uni I cannot stand them or myself and then I realize that I have nothing in common with these people I had soo much in common with before. I am soo depressed I can' stand myself or my gf, everything just seems too much my big dream at the moment would be just to pack a bag get my passport hop on a plane and never come back, just to start fresh just so I am no where near this place.

    Does anyone else have that where they just dream of being somewhere else where you can start fresh leave the depressed old you behind and carry on. Because I can honestly say I can't remember the last time I was truely happy.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I always want to just run away and hide just need a place to excape.
    If you are single why don't you do that just apply for another uni somewhere no one knows you and start over. I wish i could run but to old now to many responsibilities to my daughter and family. Do it now while you are young make the changes now while there is still hope for change that is what i think
    and stay off the pot just think what you could do if your mind was totally clear.
  3. byebyebeautiful

    byebyebeautiful Account Closed

    Mang0s you can apply to uni. You don't have to go to one in <city>. I understand you having nothing in common with your friends.

    Don't think of your past relationships, think of here and now. There is nothing wrong with pot on occasion. You can get whatever you want out of life, you just need to look for it. If you want to go to canada or whereever, then work your butt off and save. but go with a plan, running away doesn't help you. I know what, I've been there and done that.

    If you need to talk to me I am on msn most of the time. :)
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    If you plan to leave the past behind and start new somewhere then I suggest you take a holiday and go there and seek employment first.. With the recession you don't want to get stuck somewhere with no job and no shelter..If your serious about this then you need to sit down and make a plan.. Make sure you have enough money to go home if things don't pan out.. Have you thought about the red cross?? You can travel with them..Like I said make a plan you can stick to..