Ok here goes I haven't felt this low in weeks. I wolk up this morning to the same gut wrenching feelings yet today feels especially painful. I sat at the table and wrote down all the positive and negative things about my existence (you can't call this a life) and I just can't seem to find enough reasons to stay. I am consumed by all the negative thoughts I am having at the moment. Like the fact that I'm not well, and my Dad maybe seriously ill too. The fact that since June I have lost or had to give up everything that meant anything to me. I found out just a couple of weeks ago that my partner was cheating on me before we split and all I can do is think about how I am in turmoil and how he is having the time of his life going on holiday and buying her gifts, whilst I find it difficult even to leave the house. The only reason I am still here is because my Mum and Dad would suffer so much if I die, but is that reason enough to stay!