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Too much in a short time

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by rawrkitty32, Dec 25, 2008.

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  1. rawrkitty32

    rawrkitty32 New Member

    Everyday I keep feeling worse and worse, even though I have almost everything I ever wanted, I have a great family and great friends. I have so much anxiety, for no reason, all of my stress is piled on my shoulders, everyday I just want to punch everybody for no reason, and I burst into tears for no reason.
    I try talking to people but I can't because I feel stupid and I don't want my loved ones to worry about me. I've been suicidal for around 3 years now, never completely going through with it.
    Everyone thinks I'm happy because I put on a happy face for them everyday, but it's just acting. Last month, the day after thanksgiving my grandfather died. I was extremely close to him, he lived across the road from me. It was hard to cope and still is, and two days after that my boyfriend of almost a year, the only guy I have ever actually loved dumped me. I'm still not over him, everytime I think about him I feel like I was stabbed in the heart.
    You know they say "when you've hit the bottom you can only go up" That seems impossible, my mental pain is a lot bigger than anything I have to cope with it.
    The only reason I haven't killed myself is because it seems so selfish and I don't want my family to have to suffer through the loss of someone again. Grief is one of the worse feelings ever. In the past when I have attempted to kill myself I didn't think about anyone else, only myself, I just feel like there is nothing to help me and I keep dragging on everyday just wishing it would end.
    Anybody have any advice for me at all?
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Kitty,
    I can relate because my father and mother are on there last legs to stand on. We put them in an ALF about a month ago and my dad has really gone down hill since then.
    Then my brother in law has had three different tumors removed from his brain. He will most likely be the first to pass. He is one of the nicest people you could ever meet and now he stays confused and my sister has to help him do everything. It really hurts because he is more like a real blood brother.
    I too am suicidal and have my plan and my date set. I have friends here on the forum who have been talking me into going back in to the hospital. I'm leaning in that direction but haven't ruled out my death. Why don't uou think about going in the hospital and getting some help. I hope you find the peace you need to help you make the right choices. Please take care!!~Joseph~
  3. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    :welcome: to sf. I understand what you are saying all too well. The pain, the torment, the irritability. There with you all the way. Pm me if you want to chat or rant or whatever. I'll always reply asap. Best wishes and seasons greetings. :santa:
  4. Dringer

    Dringer Active Member

    First and foremost, :welcome: to SF! I'm sorry that you're feeling so low. I'm here if you need to chat.
  5. rawrkitty32

    rawrkitty32 New Member

    thank you everyone for caring
    i realy want to get some help
    i keep having anxiety/panic attacks everyday and it is only making things worse
    but im afraid to ask my parents
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    You don't have to ask your parents. Write down all your symptoms and the fact that you feel your in crisis and are afraid you might harm yourself. Then go to your local Emergency room and let them read what you have written and usually they will admit you. Once your in the hospital you can call your parents and tell them where you are. You don't have to worry about them going off on you because the staff will ask them to leave if things start to get out of hand. I wish you the best!!!~Joseph~
  7. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Forum Buddy

    When you feel depressed and it feels like nothing is triggering it it's usually the often-used term "Chemical inbalance" which is treatable with medication.

    There are many medications out there which can easily cure anxiety and panic attacks. I hope you can find what works for you.

    P.S: I'm no doctor :laugh:
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 27, 2008
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