Too much misery

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Fizzy1982

Well-Known Member
#1
Hello

I’m back after a long time.
Still fighting my depression and suicidal thougts.

After everything i’m going through, i now have to deal with other family problems.
2 weeks ago, i heard that my aunt had a brain tumor, they operated right away but still, everything is good with her for now.
Hearing this news brought back all memories i had when my mom was diagnosed with cancer and her battle against this awfull disease. My mom fought against it for 6 years and when she died,... no need to say how i felt at that time
Everything comes back to me so clearly, like a movie.

It puts me deeper into a place where i shouldn’t be, surrounded by darkness
I’m so scared, always keep a light on.
I’ve cried so much, and i know more tears will follow
I haven’t left the house in a week, walk around in my pyjamas all day, don’t eat a lot.

I’m still seeing a psychologist, only time i leave the house to be honest
I have a doctors appointment tomorrow, my meds will probably be changed again

I can’t take it anymore, why can’t i have a normal life without all this misery
 

DrownedFishOnFire

Seeing is Believing
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#2
@Fizzy1982 welcome back sorry to see it is under those circumstances hugs your way.

Having to relive this experience is really a tough one bringing back all of those feelings. Talking about it does help same goes for having the support system in place so you can vent about it. Its a lot for one person to shoulder alone.

Hugs again

Take Care
 
#3
Hello

I’m back after a long time.
Still fighting my depression and suicidal thougts.

After everything i’m going through, i now have to deal with other family problems.
2 weeks ago, i heard that my aunt had a brain tumor, they operated right away but still, everything is good with her for now.
Hearing this news brought back all memories i had when my mom was diagnosed with cancer and her battle against this awfull disease. My mom fought against it for 6 years and when she died,... no need to say how i felt at that time
Everything comes back to me so clearly, like a movie.

It puts me deeper into a place where i shouldn’t be, surrounded by darkness
I’m so scared, always keep a light on.
I’ve cried so much, and i know more tears will follow
I haven’t left the house in a week, walk around in my pyjamas all day, don’t eat a lot.

I’m still seeing a psychologist, only time i leave the house to be honest
I have a doctors appointment tomorrow, my meds will probably be changed again

I can’t take it anymore, why can’t i have a normal life without all this misery
Dear @Fizzy1982, I am so sorry to hear your news and fully unserstand why you're struggling again. I havent been on SF very long but do know that everyone here will support you and listen. I'm glad you're seeing a doctor. Take time to regain your strength and don't expect too much of yourself so quickly. Always here to listen, sending hugs xx
 

Petal

SF dreamer
Staff member
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#4
Hi there @Fizzy1982 I am sorry for how you are feeling. I have lost loved ones to cancer so I really do understand and get it.

This might seem stupidly simple but try get into a better routine for now, leave the house more, cook some meals, do whatever you can to take your mind off things. I know things are hard but when you have a daily routine you will have less time for worrying etc and more things will follow, I am sorry things are so difficult but I am glad to see you back here on the forum opening up to us .. well done :) & best wishes.
 

j2415

Well-Known Member
#5
Hi- I'm so sorry that you are feeling down.
My mother passed away 5 years ago due to kidney failure. Just months ago, I learned that my cousin was having the same health condition. It brings back the sadness and the pain. When my mom left us, I cried a lot many times, I started to avoid people and I believe it was part of my grieving process. It took me a year to cope with my mom's death but it does not mean that I forgot about her, I still miss her.

I want to encourage you to grieve, cry when you feel like to. It will help you to feel better. Try to do things that you love little by little. I understand it's hard because I also experienced that feeling. Sometimes getting up in the morning was a struggle but I need to get up and do my household chores. I walked outside for minutes to feel the fresh air and sunlight. I'm glad you are seeing a doctor. Take care of yourself.

I pray that you will have peace and comfort as you go through this season. Keep us posted, thank you for sharing.
 

Fizzy1982

Well-Known Member
#6
Thanks for the support

The doctor gave me extra medication. And with the ones i’m already taking,
I feel very tired and sleep a lot.
Also makes me wish when i fall asleep that i don’t wake up

But for this i’m seeing a psychologist every week.
My next appointment is tomorrow and i don’t feel like going
 
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