Too much pain and noone to turn to, no where to go...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Ferret, Oct 3, 2009.

  1. Ferret

    Ferret Well-Known Member

    I asked a girl out tonight and got turned down, again. Such a horrible feeling, but I'm well used to it by now. There's noone here for me I guess. No matter how much I try to better myself, the more lonely I become. Lately I've had very vivid and painstaking dreams about my ex. My latest dream revolves around her being at a party with her friends. I was there, but noone could see me. I could see everything her and her bf was doing. I would reach for a knife to stab myself, but the knife wasn't there. Then I would just wake up in a shit mood. She was a virgin when we broke up. I was told I wasn't deserving of sex. After our breakup I got really mad and started harassing her online. I kept asking her how she could so such a thing, but that eventually turned into more anger. Noone was really on my side. I had noone to turn to do talk about my frustrations. I wanted her back so much, but she didn't want me. I often wish on that night I stabbed myself, that it had to cause more harm than it did. I felt deserving of it. Noone should have to be lonely, especially when they don't want to be. I surely don't want to be, but I don't have a choice. I'm stuck in this life. I don't think I need to change anything about myself. I'm a good person but his shit society doesn't recognize that. Just to think I quit my job and moved because I was so disgusted with myself, and now I graduate from school in a month, and I feel even more disgusted with myself. I think about my ex and how happy she is that I'm not in her life. I don't see myself living like this for very much longer. Time for another drink...
  2. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    This kind of breakup is the hardest. It happened to me 32 years ago. I was tormented by it for 2 1/2 years. Then one day the thought crossed my mind to feel the good part of the love I have for that person and wish them the best. Once I did that, I could move forward.

  3. shefallsasleep

    shefallsasleep Well-Known Member

    I know exactley how you feel, I hate those dreams too, I had one last night and I feel so shit today x
  4. Zola

    Zola Antiquities Friend

    it's hard to believe, even coming from an oldster like myself, that the world will indeed right itself and you will have your pick of maidens to choose them. You may have to wait until the girls feel frightened that they won't get a permanent relationship.
    No stable sturdy, non-alcohoic male need despair. you WILL find the girl of your dreams. in the meanwhile, just have fun! Take out lots of girls and study them as to what they like and what they don't like. Don't drop into the pond of Despond, pace Bunyan. There's hope for you yet, son. Serious hope. So enjoy yourself in the meanwhile. Work up a funny line of chatter that will get the girls laughing [they love that) if you're seriously needing guidance and know French, go to France and find a French friend (male) who can explain the knack they pass down from father to son. Believe me, this works. i live the states, but my wife is French. When her nephew came over for vacation, he told me what he knows, and then proceed to put it in action before my eyes. Wow.

    keep in touch if you want. i'm happy to return your posts but remember this; There's no reson for despair of any kind until your 45.

    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 6, 2009