Too much pain for me to handle

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Marathon-Running-Bunny, Feb 6, 2012.

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  1. I have been to my job exit interview yesterday 6 feb and I shouldn't go if I have known it. It's making me feeling more hurt and I can't take the extreme pain hurting in my emotions and heart anymore. I was reprimanded harshly by the HR manager for sending so many emails and SMS to my duty manager for the appeals. She said once I resigned I should not be contacting my duty manager anymore. I loved my job so much - if you have ever read my previous posts here. I was so attached to a job I loved so much and suddenly I was asked to leave. When the company is short of manpower, I do so many extra hours for them which affected my asthma badly at night because of insufficient rest and when the day the company has enough manpower like right now, they decided to fire me and being cold towards me. I have been feeling sad and not having any interest in anything at all for almost 3 weeks since I was last told of the bad news. Am I getting into depression again because I feel better if I can .... down my flat and not wake up and go through the entire cycle of nothing again. I was hoping I can have a better method to end it but as for now I don't have any methods which can be immediate and fatal only by .......
    Sorry I can't be strong and move on. I lived my job too much and the company is treating me like that now. It hurts me very very badly like someone has stabbed me in the heart and I don't have strength to move on already. I can't move on. I don't know why. Everytime I go running or looking at the marathon medals, it reminded me of my job with them.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    They are cruel hun so cruel but hun you can and you will find another job that brings you joy. It is their loss okay I do hope you know that It will take time to heal inside the sadness but keep getting your resume out there okay to find a new job Get someone at your work place to write up how you were so reliable and enthusiastic get a good referance letter so you will have it at you next job interview. If you feel you are being fired without reason then you go to the labor board and you fight it okay get a lawyer even and fight it on grounds you were dismissed without reason I do hope you continue to look though hun for a job where people will appreciate your good work ethics You deserve to work for someone who can see and appreciate you not like this place hugs to you
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    Just want you to know I care. :hug: Here if you want to talk.
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I am not sure what type of work you did or the labor laws where you private enterprises, in the US, the governance do not have to prove 'just cause' as they would in federally or state supported entities...but, what companies fail to grasp, is that is is truly a small world and reputation is very difficult to repair...during your exit interview, did they give you a reason for your discharge? Again, in the US, there are confidentiality laws, so companies cannot continue slanderous behaviors against a terminated employee...I suggest you consult a labor attorney (any quality law school does pro bono work) and see what your rights are and if they have violated them.

    The more substantive issue is how this is rejection and a lack of security...but they do not control how you perceive very good friend was recently let go because she uncovered some very questionable business practices of an organization, so they chose to shot the messenger...she is still recovering and she has been in practice for over 25 years...please do not let them take anything from you...your value is not determined by how these people saw you...and maybe this is a time for a career change...never too late...and I, as an old dog ( so to say) am still learning new tricks...I think you can about teaching running to children wth special needs? Something that taps into your atheletic strength and which is good for the soul? Just a thought and so sorry they did this...truly their loss
  5. Thanks for all the kind words. I have spoken to my counsellor but i am still not feeling any better. My counsellor is the one who has changed my thoughts the other time and maybe i need a doctor's help? I don't know. I feel rejected, ditched, shitted in the face, taken advantage of, hopeless, helpless, useless and i don't know how to describe the loss when i was so emotionally attached to something and i can't sleep for days when the job interview arrived and was sop excited to go work and now i get this kind of treatment. I don't feel good and i don't have the strength to find another job to make myself happy. It's not something which can be gotten over with so easily. My lover ditched me before but i don't feel so bad like this. This job loss is really making me sadder and sadder and i didn't speak a word ever since it happened. I just don't feel like talkiung anymore. I wanted to shrink in a corner and plan my death as soon as possible. I don't know. the pain is getting unbearable day by day. I am unable to engage anyone to understand my true feeling and i am unable to express myself properly whentalking face to face. I don't know what will happen to me tomorrow. I just started to lost my interest in everything and i just wish to die. The more i look at my marathon medals, the more i want to die. It just remind me of the job loss even though the medals have helped me to cope with my past. I don't know what i can do now. If i run, i will be reminded of the job as well. I just don't know what to do anymore. I hoped i get an asthma attack tonight and die from it or get struck down by a car later. Please take this sad life away from me. Maybe i get a better life in hell. Sigh!
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