2 years since i joined this forum, 4 years since i felt very suicidal, and many more since i had the first reasons to die. it must be over soon, only 1 reason left to keep me alive (the pain i will cause to my family). but how long can i live for others? each day brings more sorrow and loneliness, and there is no light nowhere in the future. dont say i will be happy one day. i know what will make me happy, and i know i will never have that. if you ask me to type one good thing that happened to me in the last 10 or more years, i would have to create a blank post, and that will be the answer of your question. if you ask me for the reasons that makes me want to die, it will be a very long post, and i was making lots of posts and threads in the past here on this forum, so everything is over and there, but i am too tired to talk about it again.