I’ve been very sad lately. It all started last spring when I broke up with my now ex boyfriend. I never though heartbreak could be that painful. I spent months regretting it, but he wanted a to be in relationship with someone else and there was nothing I could do but protect myself. I figured breaking up with him now would be much better than breaking up with him later after I had fallen in love with him. Soon after I tried to distract myself with school and work. I worked so much that I started to hate it. I then started to drink as another way to cope with the hurt. This went on for a few months until I found another unhealthy coping method, weed. After summer ended and I started school, I continued it until I became addicted to it. I was smoking numerous times each day. This led my grades to drop and for some of my friendships to fade away. I started to not have movitation to do anything anymore. I thought it was a phase and that I would just get through it until I started to have suicidal thoughts. I went to get some counseling help because I didn’t want to feel this way anymore. I got diagnosed with PTSD from all the things that have happened in my childhood and mild depression. Last night, I wanted to end my life more than I ever wanted to in my life. I’m just tired of consistently being sad. I want to be happy again but I don’t know how or if I ever will be. There’s so much going on in my life, it’s just too much. I just can’t handle it anymore. I feel like no one I know understands me and I can’t tell them how I feel because they always try to cheer me up but that’s not what I need. It’s all getting too much for me. No one knows I’m depressed or have PTSD because I don’t know how they’ll handle it.