Too Much Thinking

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Member123, Jan 30, 2008.

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  1. Member123

    Member123 Member

    Hey,

    I posted once before on this website but i forgot my username so i created a new one. I hope thats ok.

    Well a lot has changed since then i guess. I have moved away from thinking about death ect. This was after thinking about how i would hurt my family and i dont want to do that so i just decided even if i have to go through all this **** atleast it will be worth it to keep others happy. Well i hope thats the case, Maybe i will return to the same point that i started at if things continue to go the way they are.

    I think about the future and feel really depressed because i have nothing to look forward too. It can only get worse and worse and worse and worse. Well thats the story of my life i guess.

    Knowing that you are a failure sucks but when you hang around with the people who are smart and will be successful you feel even worse. You wish you was like them and in the back of your mind you no that if you had not made those mistakes then you would be like that.


    Hope you can understand what i mean
     
  2. I know exactly what you mean. Actually, I know more than what you mean (that's what everyone says, yep).

    Anyway, whether you know it or not, you made the right choice. Now, strap a parachute on your back and jump out of a small aircraft. I'm not kidding you. Live your fucking life and risk every second you can. Once you try it, you'll know exactly what I mean.

    FUCK IT! Go for it! YOU have nothing to lose, do you?

    Take a casual stroll through a mental asylum and you will know that faith means nothing. --Frederick Nietzsche
     
  3. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    Totally understand what you mean because I am totally in your position.
    I am extremely scared about my future because of how much of a failure I am, I am lacking in many skills and behind developmentally. I am totally surrounded by normal people, very smart people who will be sucessful and I'm the only failure in the bunch and the only one with depression who nobody will understand, even on this forum, I'm doing something wrong here and so people don't like me here it seems. I am alone everywhere. Sorry it became about me but I understand you.
     
  4. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Sorry to see you needed to come back but so glad that you did! Yeah the future is scary but you can't know for sure that it's totally bleak. Hope you are able to find the help you need to make it seem a little more brighter.
     
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    welcome back to the forum :hug:
     
  6. Member123

    Member123 Member

    Ah i wish i could just press the reset button to life. All those changes!
     
  7. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN...i have a friend who is so much smarter than me and has good sense of direction, comes from a higher up family, a true gentleman i might add, plays the piano, his mom is an author, his dad a lawyer, he can dance 28 dances, 4.0gpa, has girls all over him, is good with wood working, everything about him is so wonderful, and he dreams HUGE..i wish i could be like him, instead, i have no sense of direction, owe 9000 dollars, am not that smart, my mom is sick just like me, my dad is a grouch, the only thing i can build out of wood is another peice of wood, lol., and my dreams are pretty small, im suicidal, cant play the piano nor read musical notes, have less than a 3.0 gpa, dont even know 1 dance, and i feel horrible about it evrytime im around him. i feel so bad, and all of a sudden my self esteem is zero...lol but as i said, he is a gentleman, so thats the only like attribute we share..lol ive been friends with him forever too.so yeah, hes not only a gentleman but such a nice guy.. hes not the least bit boastful at all, so he deserve all of that, he really does. i however do not have any of that nor deserve it, so that gets you an idea of how i feel all the time..lol
     
  8. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    In my school, most of my classmates have graduated before me. They have good jobs and are making lots of money. I'm behind, but I'm still working at it. Once you get over the idea of success and competition, and just do the best you're capable of, things will fall into place. Everybody rises to their own level.
     
  9. Member123

    Member123 Member

    Yep but those people around you will have great standards of living and will be earning loads of money. While people like me will be in the gutters picking up the dimes.
     
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