too much to ask

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by itmahanh, Sep 20, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    damn it again. puter deleted thread. so screw it. just want someone to tell my kids that i was a decent perwson. that i wasnt just all suidice. that i did try to help others just like i tried to help them.
    i know it isnt anyones "job" to do this. ive asked a few but no one want s the responsibly. the ex is going to shame what little bit he hasnt already of me to them. he already tells them how i was nothing but a w**re.
    they arent stupid. i know they know i came here. i know they have been here. just dont want them to read all my threads and posts from over the years and think yep she was only all about suicide. selfish. uincaring.

    i know killing myself is the most selfish thing of all the seklfish things ive ever done. but they dont have to know only that do tthey? cant someone just tell them "nope your mom tried to help herself and others".
    this isnt making any snese to anyone but me. guess i just ned closure and need to know my kids will get some sort of closre on this to.

    they know i cared and love abouth them above everything else. just want them to know the side of me they rarelyy got to see in rl. this is sttressing me out and eating me alive
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    The thing is your kids will never have closure on this NEVER they will live wtih it their entire lives and perhaps like you chose suicide to deal with their problems

    If you are so close to doing this again sign yourself into hospital and stay there for you kids sake They will never ever have closure you know this they will always blame themselves hate themselves always.
  3. loser

    loser Well-Known Member

    Violet is absolutely right. Children blame themselves. If you really care about them then you have to stay alive and get help for yourself.
    I am just repeating what Violet said - but I think she will forgive me for that because it is so important.
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Why not try to write to them in a way that will help you find your love for them most poignently (a great reason to be here) and one which will represent you as you should be. Dying is no way to assure their future, no matter how they will feel about you. Living and guiding them is the only way to be assured that they will grow and develop...please stay with us as we care alot and want you here...big hugs, J
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    I don't think that your kids will ever get over you committing suicide Carla. Please hang on. :hug:
  6. Punk

    Punk Well-Known Member

    This is true. My ex wife committed suicide and our children are still shell shocked some 18 months later. They cry about aqnd miss her incredibly. It is very sad and my son has tried to take his life already. He is currently 12.

    Dont do anything which will destroy your child's confidence. Theirs is fragile enough already without a loving parents suicide on top to deal with.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.