I am in so much emotional turmoil I can't even talk or deal with people. I want company yet I'm afraid to be around people. I want to be held but I'm afraid to be touched. I want to scream but I don't want to be heard. I am on the very edge of this cliff and I'm falling but it's a dream and I wake up. I don't know how much longer I can deal with this before I completely lose it. I don't understand. Why did he treat everyone nice but me? Why did he humiliate me like that? Why couldn't he understand it hurt to see him being nice to others when he was so cruel to me. Nobody understands! This is something else farther and deeper than ever before. This is beyond my ability to deal with. I feel like my hands are slipping off the one hold I have and then I'll do down so far I'll never get back up. But nobody will believe me on how bad it really is. I'm all alone on this one.