Sometimes I wish that I was born stupid, and that life was simple. Sometimes I wish I still sensed the magic about life that others do. I get small glimpses of it, but it always seems so far away. I don't even care what happens to me anymore. I feel like there is nothing to hope for and no reason to try anymore. I feel like I am probably the worst person in the entire world. As I replay moments in my life when I have acted terribly, I just want to crawl into a dark hole and die. I feel like everyone knows the Real Me is awful and is just tiptoeing around that issue. I want to die so badly just to protect the world from me.