I haven't posted for quite some time. I'm back in school full time. I'm working anywhere from 28-46 hours a week. It seems like I am spending all of my time helping everyone else. What I really need is for someone to listen to me. I am feeling totally overwhelmed. I have just over a year and a half til I get my BSW degree. I feel like I am falling apart. I don't want to let anyone down and express how I am feeling. It just seems that no matter how hard I try things just seem to mess up and I don't seem to get anywhere. I have been having suicidal thoughts quite frequently. I haven't talked to my doctor about it really. She thinks I am doing better. I was in the hospital (psych) this summer for a little while. I am supposed to pick up an extra 15 hours/week at work for the next couple weeks. I'm so behind in school. No time for friends or down time or anything. I know that when I get this way, I act impulsively and make all kinds of bad decisions. I feel that is where I am headed. It seems like every little disappointment causes even more suicidal thoughts. I have overdosed in the past and have managed to keep a supply of extra meds just in case I need them. Can anyone help me sort things out?
too much
- Thread starter katie
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That's a tough place to be in. School and work at the same time. Try to keep your eyes on the prize, so to speak. I ended up dropping the school part and just working. And I have often regretted it over the years.
You should talk to your doctor about how you feel. If anything, just so someone else knows and can support you when you are in crisis. It is not unusual for someone who is "doing well" to have suicidal thoughts creeping back in. Especially when they are very stressed out, like you are. Perhaps facing someone and admitting how you feel will help you draw the strength to continue working hard.
Two years is very little time in the scope of your life. And then you will be doing very important work as a social worker. It can be very rewarding. So, hang in there!
You should talk to your doctor about how you feel. If anything, just so someone else knows and can support you when you are in crisis. It is not unusual for someone who is "doing well" to have suicidal thoughts creeping back in. Especially when they are very stressed out, like you are. Perhaps facing someone and admitting how you feel will help you draw the strength to continue working hard.
Two years is very little time in the scope of your life. And then you will be doing very important work as a social worker. It can be very rewarding. So, hang in there!
Is it necessary for you to pick up the extra work hours? Is it possible you are overextending yourself to the point of exhaustion? Being overtired can contribute to depression which can lead to suicidal thoughts. Sit down and take a close look at things. You need to make sure you have a little time to do something just for you. Some down time with no responsibilities so you can relax. :hug:
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