too much

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by cookiemonster, Mar 12, 2010.

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  1. cookiemonster

    cookiemonster Banned Member

    last two or three weeks i have been ignored and made to feel invisible by everyone i know. at school people avoid me like the fucking plague and i spend over 6 hours at school in pretty much silence every single day cos there is just no point talking. i get this at home as well. i sit for hours on end just not talking to anyone cos whenever i do i get yelled at or ignored. and i'm starting to get the same response on here and i think its pointless me coming on here anymore if i'm not gonna talk to anyone. i can go and do that on my own in my room. i'm just losing the will to go on. there's no point living a fucking lonely existence. i'm gonna give it tonight and then i'm out of here. no point sticking around to be ignored when i can just get that from my family and friends in real life.

    no real point arguing with me, its too late
  2. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    Emily i love you, i dont have the words you deserve right now, but i love you :hug: sorry tht im not of any help :arms:
  3. cookiemonster

    cookiemonster Banned Member

    what does it matter?
  4. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    it matters because she cares

    we all care
  5. cookiemonster

    cookiemonster Banned Member

    i've had enough
  6. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    i know emily

    i know all about being invisible and feeling alone and it sucks

    if i could sit down with you and give you a hug i would

    i just want to help you get through today

  7. cookiemonster

    cookiemonster Banned Member

    i really can't put up with it anymore. its just too much and it really just too late. i'm quitting school next week and then thats it. nothing left. i'm not sticking around
  8. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    whats the pint quitting school, u only have a few months left, sorry to be so harsh, but yeah...
  9. cookiemonster

    cookiemonster Banned Member

    i have a year and a few months if i stay
  10. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    but in a few months you'll have a break coming up, right?

    forget about the people in school for a minute

    what do you want to do once school is done?
  11. cookiemonster

    cookiemonster Banned Member

    i have no plans for life. not been any point making them. and i'm gonna spend all holidays on my own in a small dark room just wanting to die. i would prefer to go now and spare myself the pain
  12. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    just get through today then

    yesterday is gone

    tomorrow will be here soon enough

    but today is a gift - that's why they call it "the present"

    we all care for you, sweetie :hug:

    even when you don't want us to
  13. cookiemonster

    cookiemonster Banned Member

    i don't want to. i want it to be over now. i should just go now. just leave the site and never come back.
  14. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    emily i wish i could get you to see what a kind and wonderful person you really are

    you're able to help almost everyone who comes in here

    you are open and caring and free with hugs (which i thank your for)

    i know that you're in a dark place right now - i'm trying to raise myself out of a deep trough too

    just do me one favor

    i'm including a link for a song that i've shared with others

    please just listen to it all the way through, ok?

    please try
  15. cookiemonster

    cookiemonster Banned Member

    i'll watch it but i don't think i'm gonna stick artound much longer
  16. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    please try hon

    i'm already afraid i've lost a couple of friends - i don't want to lose you too

    i'm kind of selfish that way
  17. cookiemonster

    cookiemonster Banned Member

    sorry if i cause concern
  18. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    anybody who is in as much distress as you are requires concern

    i wish i could take all the pain away, i do, but i can't

    all i can tell you is that i was where you are at now and things did get better for me for a long time - it wasn't overnight and it wasn't easy

    i really want you to have the chance to see

    i know how much you've helped others, well now it's your turn

    lean on us, hon - we'll help keep you up :hug:
  19. cookiemonster

    cookiemonster Banned Member

    i don't deserve it and i definitely don't feel like i have helped anyone. i focus on myself and my selfish desires
  20. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    i love you and care about you whether you feel you deserve it or not

    what you're saying is the same thing i feel when i am at my lowest

    someone once told me "this too shall pass" (of course, i'd just eaten a bad burrito at the time)

    look, i don't want to pull out all the cliches and useless phrases that you and i both hear from everyone else who thinks they have the answers to all of our problems

    i won't bore you, patronize you, or lie to you

    but i will care about you - you have no say in the matter

    and you know everyone here feels the same way

    please take strength from that knowledge

    PM me if that will help - i will always have time to answer
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