It's all too much. I can't cope. I've recently been told I have a dependance on alcohol. I'm not HAPPY about this but yes, it is pretty damn obvious. But I don't want to be labelled an alcoholic. It's self medication because of the neglect the CMHT have shown me. I have a massive amount of study coming up. I don't feel able to complete it well enough... I feel the need to get 1st in everything. I am running a half marathon in February, and a full marathon in April.. for Mind. It's all too much. The only person that knows about this is my boyfriend. I'm relying on alcohol. I want to stop. I can't. I don't want to end up like my dad. I'd rathe die than end up that way... I'm Sorry.