Lately, I've come to accept the fact that I will remain lonely and sad for the rest of my years. I have also accepted that it's in the plans of the higher powers for me to remain depressed, and that more sorrows are coming my way and I should just quit fighting it. Last night I was thinking, I could choose to die or choose to continue living lonely and sad for say, another 50 years? If I chose the former, would I really be able to end my existence, or will my soul continue to suffer in sadness? If I chose to live, I would remain sad of course, as predicted. Seems like a lose lose thing for me. Now this has made me too scared to live and too scared to die. It reaffirms the truth that no matter which route I choose, I'll only end up back at square one aka loneliness/sadness/depression. Has anyone experienced this thought? Sorry if I'm posting this at the wrong place, I'm not sure where this belongs.