I can't decide who I want to be. I can't decide whether to listen to society or God or science. I love science so much, but without God I have no reason to listen to half of the social rules supported by science other than a list of the most popular theories among anthropologists, psychologists, and doctors, etc. Even those don't even mesh up right. I guess I'm just too weak. I wish things didn't end up this way. I wish I was born to some other people.... I have one more thing to try, and if it doesn't work then I am done.