I am at a point in my life where I don't know what to do. And as the title states I'm too smart for my own good. I have had thoughts of ending my life and unfortunately I am a chemistry student and it is far to easy for me. With less then 10 minutes of research on google I found all I need to know. I know what I can take and how much of it to take to end my life easily and painlessly. I also did all the physics calculations in the event of a jump instead. My life has revolved around a girl since I was in high school and out of the blue 6 months before I graduate college she decides she doesn't love me anymore and can't see a future with me. I transferred schools and threw away my college athletic career for her and thought I was happy, and I was, but realized all the decisions to make my life what it is included her. The life I set myself up to have would have been a great one but it is the life I wanted us to have. Not the life I would want to live alone. I know I have a lot going for me in a lot of different ways, I am smart, most people say I am good looking, I have even asked to consider fitness modeling. I have no drug or alcohol problems at all. But I am just empty now. My friends and family just say to move on because I have so much going for me. But I don't want to. I have no desire to move on. I don't know how to be single. I don't want to go party and meet women. I had a beautiful pure relationship with my girlfriend. We were both of our firsts and I will never get my virginity back and can never share that special bond with someone else. I am now forced to face a life I prepared for someone else and she isn't there anymore. I have never had problems with depression until now. I am currently medicated and seeing a therapist. I hate myself and my life right now. And it just feels easier to end it. Please some tell me how to go about this.