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Too tired

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Wastingecho, Feb 2, 2010.

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  1. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    I'm just too tired of it all. Tired of the pain, the failures, not being who others need me to be. No big rant here just exhausted from it all.

    Looking at my bottle of x and struggling to find a reason not to suck the whole thing down.

    I just hurt too much to give a damn anymore. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 2, 2010
  2. Cybrsk8r

    Cybrsk8r Well-Known Member

    All you can do is be yourself. Don't worry about what others want you to be.

    When you feel alone, come on here and talk to us. You'll find caring souls who will try to be there for you. Even if it's just to listen. :console:
  3. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    But all I see is a failure. That's what I am. I'm not even emotional about it right now. I feel very calm actually. Dying just feels right. Then I won't have to worry about feeling like shit later.
  4. AEdle

    AEdle Well-Known Member

    Pills don`t help..It`s worse to take them and after that somebody saves you...or much better aren`t a solution...

    Do you know if you are here that means you can act,you can put the leg in the door and say 'stop' to what creeps/makes you feel like you`re in this moment.

    I was just saying this because this tired(sometimes it gets on my nervs as well..and in that day I am stick and walking like an insane who looks for something..and when i have it i stay and look and think and again try to don`t think and act,and again think at what,why..and after 2 days I regret that I hadn`t taken the pills and so on) feeling is makin` the person feel under everything and it makes you feel weak and in the same time gives you courage to do the"big" step...

    I am sorry that i don`t have super powers...but I hope you are ok and you`ll think at what can you change.Try to give up the bad things and do what you`ve always wanted and try to put a smile or put a optimistic thing in something that makes you feel ok,in safe or...that makes you feel alive!
  5. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    But there are no smiles any more. I've lost interest in the things I used to do, books I used to read, shows I used to watch. It's all become just static.

    I hate my situation, I hate my life, I hate myself. Every breath I take just steals oxygen from someone who needs it more than me.

    I tried to talk to my manager before and tell him that I'm having a problem. His first question was whether or not the project deadline was in "danger".

    My family thinks I'm feeling this way because I had to add 30 minutes each way to my commute. My wife thinks I should just get over it. Everyone looks at me but nobody sees me, understands.

    I'm already dead inside and I don't want to keep up the facade any more.
  6. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    Kept it together long enough to get home. Won't kill myself with my family around me but I'm not sure how much longer that will help.
  7. aethefox

    aethefox New Member

    i had the same problem and felt EXACTLY as u did, what u need is adventure or to really see something on earth that makes you feel like its a privelige to be here.

    i witnessed an assault and couldnt do anything to help the victim, there and then i knew what i wanted to do, im now a paramedic and save lives daily
  8. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    Don't want adventure. Adventure in my life is never good.

    Adventure is:
    • Rupturing a gas line in my car 100 miles from home on a Sunday night
    • Needing help to carry my son into the the hospital because the new meds for his colitis are destroying his pancreas
    • Getting a call from my daughter asking me how to cope with her first dead body (college EMS volunteer)
    • Trying to avoid being put into handcuffs again and taken to the ER because a therapist or visiting nurse thinks I'm going to hurt myself (when I wasn't)
    • Trying to drive home at night on a dark road and trying to see through my tears
    • Trying to come with creative ways to kill myself that don't look like suicide
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