too tired

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by cookiemonster, Mar 20, 2010.

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  1. cookiemonster

    cookiemonster Banned Member

    i came really close today, i did something stupid but survived. i really can kill myself and i really know this. its now just a waiting game. thanks for everything. i think this may be my last thread
     
  2. jnine

    jnine Well-Known Member

    cookiemonster, i read your post and want to say something helpful, something to offer you energy or comfort but i don't know what that might be. do you want to about anything? anything~ even if it's not related to being too tired or dying, we could talk about those things too,

    how can i help?
     
  3. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    it doesn't have to be your last thread

    i've done something stupid 5 times since the beginning of february

    the knowledge that i can do it again is always present and sometimes i just keep going by telling myself that i'm not going to do it TODAY

    for years i was able to do that on my own but that doesn't work any more - that's why i came here

    and each time that i have been at the bottom of the abyss with the light all but gone, it's been the people here that have somehow been able to help me not do it TODAY

    because one way or another maybe i here a whisper that gets through the wall - a faint little voice that tells me that someone cares about me - even if i can't see how

    when everything is completely unbearable, even though i completely hate myself, even though i start to cry, sometimes uncontrollably, when i hear it - someone cares :cry:

    does any of this sound familiar?

    we care emily

    and we'll keep saying it until someone's voice breaks through your wall

    we care

    :hug:
     
  4. cookiemonster

    cookiemonster Banned Member

    thank you
     
  5. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

  6. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    Are you still doing your nurse's breathing exercise, Emily?
     
  7. cookiemonster

    cookiemonster Banned Member

    not really. i get too worked up
     
  8. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    if you really need to relax, grab a textbook

    you'll be asleep in no time
     
  9. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

  10. cookiemonster

    cookiemonster Banned Member

    thanks you guys seriously. but i'm going away properly this time. i'm really hoping i never come back cos i know i'm useless here and i don't want to be like that anymore
     
  11. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    Don't worry about being "useful" or not. Being "useful" isn't a requirement. You just being you is enough.
     
  12. cookiemonster

    cookiemonster Banned Member

    people hate me
     
  13. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    Right. That's why you have 12 friends on your profile... And that's why people keep trying to make you feel better...
     
  14. cookiemonster

    cookiemonster Banned Member

    and yet i sit in chat and get the feeling of utter resentment from everyone in there
     
  15. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    I've never been in the chat so I couldn't say anything about that.

    But here in The Netherlands many people always say "Ik hoef niet door iedereen aardig gevonden te worden". Which means "I don't have to be liked by everybody". I guess what people mean by that, is that it's unhealthy to always want to be liked by everyone as you'll always be disappointed. There will always be people who don't like you. And when people don't like you, just let it go. I said that in a PM the other day as well, remember? That you don't have any control over everything out there so you should learn to let certain things go? Anyway, in the same way there will always be people who DO like you, as well. :)
     
  16. cookiemonster

    cookiemonster Banned Member

    too many people on here hate me and too many people irl hate me. i'm useless to humanity and therefore i should stop burdening everyone
     
  17. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    What about cownes?
     
  18. cookiemonster

    cookiemonster Banned Member

    what do you mean? i love maddy! this is for the best
     
  19. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    :cry: HOW is this for the BEST!!! i am faling to see it like that!!
     
  20. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    Well, you're not useless as you've said in the quote below...
    ...as you mean something to cownes. You are "of use" seeing that she's your friend.

    :)
     
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