too tired

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I just am too tired to keep going. I miss my kids and former life. I have nothing left to give anyone or even myself. I have tried to keep going but there is no reason too. Had too many attempts thwarted now and am still sick from last weekend. I am supposed to see my therapist tomorrow morning and go to dbt group on thursday. I cant sleep before these appointments so by the time I get home after group on thursdays, I wont have slept for 3 days. I am so wound up about going. I hate these sessions - I hate the individual therapy even more. I rarely sh'ed until a year ago and now it is almost constant. I cant go tomorrow. I dont want to keep living. There is no point to life any more.


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Make your kids the point of going on.

This is what I tell myself,

I decided to have children, I know how I feel and never ever want them to feel this way, and surely if I leave by suicide then they will, hell they may even follow me cause I would have given them to the thought that leaving is the way.

I never want my kids to question the love that I have for them, I never want them to think that its their fault that I left, or question if they could have been better, made better grades-anything. I want them to know that I love them with all of me, forever, and they wont be able to remember that unless Im here to tell them, to show them.

This is what keeps me going....

Im sorry your having a hard time with therapy, ironic thing that its supose to make you feel better huh, sometimes it does and sometimes it doesnt, I think it has alot to do with topic.

Just like I told another friend here, you got to stop living in the past, stop holding onto all that misery. Your children are going to grow up and search for you (if they dont find you before then) they are going to want answers, are you going to be there to answer them or will you leave it up to others to say why, or answer the what ifs.

I hope this is making since cause it doesnt feel like it sounds right.

Hugs, hope today gets better for you.
It sounds good that you are in therapy. can you get meds adjusted?

seems like you if you can get the insomnia under control things could get much better.

do you know why you get so wound up about therapy?

I think for a lot of people have to talk about things can be traumatic.

I do an acupressure self-massage that helps me when I have insomnia

I haven't done this in a while, but for some reason taking a bone meal supplement would always knock me right out
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