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Too young for pain relief??

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by ThePhantomLady, Nov 9, 2015.

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  1. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    I can't breathe!

    I've had a crap weekend, Friday I started having Hives, I've had that before and was tested for allergies... turns out I'm allergic towards cats and black mold. (it started when I worked for the Eurovision Song Contest that was held in an old ship yard).

    I have searched my tiny flat for black mold, I can't see or smell any and my symptoms only get worse.
    I have antihistamines but I'd rather not take them because even if I got some that aren't supposed to make you drowsy the still do. I guess my intake of pain relief doesn't make it any easier. I took them Friday night and Saturday I was pretty much knocked out. Last night the hives returned with a vengeance, I woke up every hour itching and scratching a new large spot on my body, and this morning I woke up having trouble breathing... but I can't take the pills.

    I have a meeting with my new caseworkers at the job center, and I can't turn up looking like I'm high or hungover.

    I have taken my shower curtain down as that's the only thing I can suspect of causing it.

    I called my doctors office and after an hour I got through to a doctor who was convinced it was my pain relief. I have recently had my dose raised.
    I asked her, practically begging, if there were any brands that didn't have what she suspected I as allergic to in them, but she just told me she thought it was better I didn't take the meds at all.

    My doctors office is composed of a lot of doctors and you never get to talk to the same person...

    She listed all the meds I took and told me that at my age (25) that was very heavy doses; and told me how exercises for my back would be better...

    I need pain relief to even get out of bed at all, I have chronic back and hip pains caused by scoliosis that wasn't detected and treated before it was too late. I do some exercises I got when I took physiopilates classes with a physiotherapist... but if I don't take my meds on time I can't even walk.

    I just started crying as I hung up the phone. I might be too young to take the pills, but am I not too young to have pains like that?

    I am so scared my request to have my prescription renewed will be denied.

    And I called instead of getting an appointment, because I did have a fear it would be my pills, and I just don't want the speech from someone who doesn't read the scoliosis diagnosis to blame it all on my weight. I am aware my weight doesn't help, but if I was a skinny stick I'd still have bad pains; and my weight is a result of the scoliosis, because of back pains I averted sport as a kid.

    I am having a panic attack, while I have been addicted to some forms of pains, this is not a pain I can handle.

    I'm trying to convince myself that it's the shower curtain, I took it down and sealed it in a bag and opened all the windows...

    ... and to add to my misery I can't reach my LDR boyfriend, he's not online anywhere... he usually goes online at 8am every work day, but it's now 10.30 and still no sign of him. I haven't heard from him since Friday.
    I keep staring at the offline message wondering what's wrong.
    Did he have an accident? did he get sick?

    He was talking about trying his sleeping pills this weekend, something he struggles with because of fears of not waking up, linked to his PTSD.

    Or maybe there's just no internet connection?

    *buries her head in a pillow and screams*
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi sweetie, caaaalm down. Deep breaths, breathe slowly, you will be fine. I think I might have your story a a little jumbled up in my view(forgive me if I do), are the doctors saying the itching and hives are caused by the painkillers? If you are on opiate painkillers that can definitely cause itching, in the past when I was taking Tramadol, I would tear myself apart from the itching. I have asthma and mold make me breathe heavy and gives me trouble breathing so I can relate. The anti histamines should be helping you but if not you need to see the doctor again and make sure you make it clear you need something non drowsy. Do you mind me asking what weight you are? (just curious and nosey), I doubt your weight has much to do with it if you don't think so.

    Your LDR boyfriend could be sleeping, or something came up or his internet is down, could be many reasons as to why he is not online, try not to worry so much and omg you worked for the eurovision, that's amazing, I am jealous!!

    Big huge hugs to you ((hugs))
  3. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    The doctor suspects it's one of my pain killers, the ibuprofen to be exact, the paracetamol and tramadol I also take should be fine apparently... I've taken all of those for over a year, but recently I went from 3x400mg to 3x600mg ibuprofen...

    The doctor advised me to stop taking all of the pills, she didn't read my journal and was just fixed on the fact that I took a lot of pills for someone 'so young'. It's something I've heard a lot of times before... but no exercises help me even if I do it daily. And the truth is, if I don't get the pills I won't be doing those exercises at all as they hurt like hell to do.

    The anti histamines are 'non drowsy' ones, I even tried a few different brands... but I still get drowsy... that's why I'm trying to avoid them before my meeting.

    I don't know my weight, in attempt to get control over my eating disorders I got rid of my scales... I would punish myself for gaining weight and it was getting out of hand. Last time I got weighed some years back I weighed 110 kg. Which is a lot, but it's so difficult for me to lose weight, I even worked at a children's obesity clinic. There I also became a test subject for a few doctors. I don't have diabetes, I barely even have dangerous fat around my organs either. But I do want to lose weight... but with my eating disorders I can't just do it like normal people. I know what to eat, re my job at the clinic... but yeah.
    My clothes still fit the same, a tiny bit loser even so I don't think I gained too much.

    My boyfriend is still not online... he shouldn't be sleeping. He's supposed to be at work, he's 'naughty' and chat with me during work every day. That's why I'm panicking!

    And yeah, working for the Eurovision was a huge dream of mine, when I was 10 I actually announced to my mum that one day I'd worked there. She laughed at me, but joke's on her, lol!
    I worked as 'Host' for the Irish delegation, which pretty much means I was their PA. Such nice people! Hard work too, but I'd do it again in a Heartbeat
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    wow, I would have suspected it to be other painkillers so they must have good reason to think its ibuprofen. Did you ask her to read your journal? Maybe next time show it to her and ask her for just a few minutes extra of her time so you can explain everything. When do you see the doctor next? Are you completely off all of the pills now?

    You are skinnier than I, I am about 125-130kg. I'm ashamed of my body but won't let it get me too down, i'm on a serious diet at the moment. Sorry you have suffered with your weight too it's not easy but as my sister always reminds me it doesn't have to be permanent :) You did the right thing in throwing out the scales, those numbers can really mess with your mind and self confidence.

    I hope your boyfriend is okay, could you call him on the phone to see that he's okay? I'm sure he id hun, don't worry it is early yet.

    Yeah well done on working for the eurovision, that's amazing, im euro vision obsessed! You're a lovely person and don't deserve this suffering and pain. Hugs!
  5. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi PhantomLady, I also have allergies and I've been told that you need to let the antihistamines build up in your system. ie They work better if you take them for a few days in a row which I find annoying.

    It's weird that the non-drowsy antihistamines make you drowsy. Have you tried taking them for a few days in a row, I found that when I took drowsy ones for a few days the drowsiness wore off.
  6. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Good luck with your diet Petal! I'm proud of you for sticking to it!

    I have no appointments with my doctor, I don't get regular checkups... it's only when I make an appointment if my symptoms have gotten worse...

    I found out it's not the pills though, I found tiny black mold spots start to appear in my shower... and while I was at the meeting my symptoms 'magically' went away. My mother has offered to help me clean it when she can... and for now I've closed off my bathroom and only go there with a surgical mask I found in my antibacterial survival kit (sometimes OCD pays off I guess) and I've taken my antihistamine... I also turned the heat up out there, hoping to dry out the mold before it spreads too much.
    I've also opened all the windows to clear the air as much as I can.

    I guess I should contact the landlord but I just want to avoid it if possible. I don't have the energy to fight, and I fear he'll blame it on me and give me some massive bill.

    And my boyfriend contacted me! He had been surprised with a ton of meetings and hadn't had the chance to tell me. The poor man was so sorry when he saw all my worried messages.

    The positive side to it is though, if I was ever doubting that I love him...

    Nor him or I can afford to call or text another country, he still struggles to speak too... it sucks! He's promised me that if something serious ever happens with him that he has given my email to his best friend and he will email me then... that is some relief at least. I've thought about doing the same, but I don't know who I trust enough.
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