So.. I don't really know what to say. I guess why I want to do this, take my life I mean.. I feel empty and I feel scared and I just don't see much hope. I'm seventeen and I'm a transsexual, I was born a female. I'm in the closet about that and my pansexuality. I'm scared because I'm in a long distance relationship with someone and I hate the distance. I'm paranoid that I'm constantly being lied to, especially by my boyfriend who I'm scared isn't real.. I've wanted to end my life for weeks and today I nearly did, I'm scared to tell my father I feel this way because he thinks I'm so happy.. But I'm not. I just need help and I don't know what I'm looking for by coming onto this forum and spilling my heart out.. Maybe I want someone to tell me to come out to my dad or break up with my boyfriend or whatever.. I just don't want someone to tell me to turn to God, I'm an atheist and I'm also scared people saying these feelings are because I have no faith in God. I just need help.. And I'm sorry for repeating myself I just don't know.. I don't know what to do anymore.