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- Thread starter Prof.Bruttenholm
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If that makes sense.
I'm actually pretty picky, and this is probably a big part of why I'm still alone… but really, I can't see too many good reasons to get married or to commit to someone I'm not completely undoubtedly perfect for… but of course, those people never want to commit anyways.
1. Like-minded-- into film, music, traveling, exploring, walking, having personal projects and being happy right now as opposed to planning for happiness later (even though I still do this). I also think it's nice to be lazy from time to time.
2. Low maintenance-- I'm willing to compromise but there's no sense in trying to force it if we don't fit together. I'm not going to completely change everything about myself to make her happy, and I don't want her to do that for me. I had a really demanding girlfriend once and not only did it not last, but I also felt nothing but relief when we broke up and was glad that she was gone… and then I had this mousey girlfriend who was afraid to talk about herself and I ended up getting really frustrated with that too… maybe even more frustrated. A nice balance would be great.
3. Decent-looking/at least a little bit fit-- I'm not a model or anything, but I still have standards. If it were a female version of me, then I would be happy with that… I'm not exactly active but if she can't push herself to hike 735 meters up a not-so-vertical mountain, then she's going to get left behind. I also hate it when people say they can't do something when they haven't even tried… failure is one thing, gender role is one thing, but if it's not something that's extremely difficult and they don't even give it a shot and just give up before they even try that really gets to me… my friend's wife is like this and I don't know how he puts up with it.
4. We would still be friends if we weren't together. She also doesn't feel the need to get married or 'settle down', but also hasn't ruled it out in the future… and isn't opposed to adoption as opposed to having children the old-fashioned way. If I ever have a family, it's going to be through adoption and it's probably going to be later in life.
5. I'm as important to her as she is to me.
6. Likes animals-- if you don't like animals then there's something wrong with your heart and I have my doubts that you could ever love yourself or another person.
7. Probably the same age or a little older than me-- I really like maturity… and the older women I've dated have been a much better match.
8. Not too girly, not too manly-- I'm not particularly girly or manly either. Say 60/40.
9. Socially and politically liberal-- I admit it-- I hate right wingers. Anyone who hates immigrants, other races, social programs, the Arts, or who loves the military, the war on drugs, the death penalty, etc… those people suck. They're almost always boring, narrow-minded and stupid.
10. We can do everything together and traditional gender roles don't determine who does what around the house.
I'm more sure of what I want now than I was 10 years ago when I actually felt a strong urge to get married… I'm also more comfortable with the idea of never getting married if I don't find someone who fits. Basically, I want a female version of myself.
Yeah, that was a rant.
1. Like-minded-- into film, music, traveling, exploring, walking, having personal projects and being happy right now as opposed to planning for happiness later (even though I still do this). I also think it's nice to be lazy from time to time.
2. Low maintenance-- I'm willing to compromise but there's no sense in trying to force it if we don't fit together. I'm not going to completely change everything about myself to make her happy, and I don't want her to do that for me. I had a really demanding girlfriend once and not only did it not last, but I also felt nothing but relief when we broke up and was glad that she was gone… and then I had this mousey girlfriend who was afraid to talk about herself and I ended up getting really frustrated with that too… maybe even more frustrated. A nice balance would be great.
3. Decent-looking/at least a little bit fit-- I'm not a model or anything, but I still have standards. If it were a female version of me, then I would be happy with that… I'm not exactly active but if she can't push herself to hike 735 meters up a not-so-vertical mountain, then she's going to get left behind. I also hate it when people say they can't do something when they haven't even tried… failure is one thing, gender role is one thing, but if it's not something that's extremely difficult and they don't even give it a shot and just give up before they even try that really gets to me… my friend's wife is like this and I don't know how he puts up with it.
4. We would still be friends if we weren't together. She also doesn't feel the need to get married or 'settle down', but also hasn't ruled it out in the future… and isn't opposed to adoption as opposed to having children the old-fashioned way. If I ever have a family, it's going to be through adoption and it's probably going to be later in life.
5. I'm as important to her as she is to me.
6. Likes animals-- if you don't like animals then there's something wrong with your heart and I have my doubts that you could ever love yourself or another person.
7. Probably the same age or a little older than me-- I really like maturity… and the older women I've dated have been a much better match.
8. Not too girly, not too manly-- I'm not particularly girly or manly either. Say 60/40.
9. Socially and politically liberal-- I admit it-- I hate right wingers. Anyone who hates immigrants, other races, social programs, the Arts, or who loves the military, the war on drugs, the death penalty, etc… those people suck. They're almost always boring, narrow-minded and stupid.
10. We can do everything together and traditional gender roles don't determine who does what around the house.
I'm more sure of what I want now than I was 10 years ago when I actually felt a strong urge to get married… I'm also more comfortable with the idea of never getting married if I don't find someone who fits. Basically, I want a female version of myself.
Yeah, that was a rant.
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