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torn between..


Penguin astronaut extraordinaire
ok. so ill soon be leaving my boyfriend as he doesnt treat me properly. and i wanted to be on my own and single for a little while, ya know im like 18 i want to go out and have fun with friends. live my life and enjoy life before settling down. then again.....

met this guy(dave), hes just so amazing. he makes me laugh and just makes me feel special about myself. he even know about my SH and understands. he goes out of his way everyday just to send me alil text sayin 'thinkin of you' or something like that. there may be a lil age difference bt its not that bad. n he doesnt act his age lol. so im not to fussed about that at all. but then again....

my ex has jsut been talking to me(billy). n we never really ended it properly so theres always been mixed emotions in the air about us. well to for everyone to a better grip on this, were like JD and Eliot of Scrubs, we were together, then split, then weve hooked up a few times. n hes talkin about if we would have lasted n stuff like this. he wants something serious.
dave isnt the type of guy to just f*ck around either, hes all or nothing. so he wants something lasting. he says how much he likes me n everything. and billy, weve been on n off so much i have no idea whats goin on anymore. so my main question is, what do i do?

i could get back with billy my ex, and hope it works or ill have ruined that friendship and my chances with dave. or i could get with dave, he lives further away, there a 10 yr age gap(which will b fun to explain to my mum lol) and id have to tell billy that im not willing to try again. but hes like had his chances with me, dave hasnt. i duno im so confused. i do like billy. we have alot of history, and none of it is like bad. weve never really had a big fall out or arguement. but neither has me n dave, n hes all new and exciting.
so im honestly confused here. i could be single for awhile too n blow both of them off. but tbh i may say i wana be single n everything for awhile, but when i comes to it i wouldnt want to be alone. n all i need is my privacy, which ill get wen i move.
(sorry for the bad spelling, im really tired lol and i am using fake names just in case.)
id love just that little bit of outside help on this one. someone who isnt stuck in the middle of this tryin to figure out what the heart wants. because its pretty torn between them both.


Well-Known Member
saying up front that i'm a father with 2 21-yr old daughters so that affects my viewpoint

the age gap concerns me - not saying that it doesn't work in some cases, but i have to wonder why someone who's almost 30 needs to find an 18-year old girlfriend - something to think about

i think you had the right idea up front when you said you wanted to be on your own for a bit - maybe you really need to give that a chance and clear your head - i worry that you may just be infatuated with dave because he is so new and treats you differently

if you were my daughter it would concern me - i know i'm not, just saying

you have plenty of time to find a relationship, and it may end up being with someone you just haven't met yet or someone you have met but just haven't seen "that way" before

being by yourself may be hard, but i think you really need to sit down and think about what you want and make sure that you aren't just settling for something because you don't see anything better right now

think about it and be careful


Well-Known Member
The age gap worries me too. He may seem genuine and nice and sweet, but people can act and pretend to be people that they aren't just to get what they want from you, and at your age you need to be especially mindful of this.

I am assuming you haven't met Dave face to face yet? As you say he lives further away.. If so then there is really a LOT you can't tell about a person from only having known him digitally. As much as you may like this Dave, you need to put your safety and care first and be cautious, even if you don't feel like you need to with him.

The Billy part confuses me because at the start you said you'd soon be leaving him but then you referred to him as your ex. If he doesn't/didn't treat you right then he isn't the guy for you, no matter what your feelings are or how many times you've broken up and gotten back together. He'll never learn to treat you right if you keep running back into his arms.

Basically, I think you should leave this Billy in the past and move on, but not necessarily to Dave. Just take some time for yourself and enjoy being single, whilst continuing your friendship with Dave. If he's as good a guy as you think he is he'll have no problem waiting until you have had some time for yourself and won't push you into doing anything you aren't ready to do (like meeting up, dating, etc). You're really quite young and should be extremely careful with this Dave situation.


Penguin astronaut extraordinaire
thanks for the feed back :) has helped. And i dont think i did explain it well. i have a bf now, sam, n im leavin him. billy and sam are different people. and i have met dave once n it was amazing, he wasnt after sex. we went out to alton towers(theme park) and then on lots of bike rides and everything. but i think your right. maybe i do need to be alone. get my head clear. see if anything happens with anyone else. live my life etc. thanks again :) and ye, 10 years is abig difference but my friends parents have an age gap like that, so it just sorta didnt seem as bad to me. so i duno. abit time to myslef may help alot

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