torn, confused

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by frantic, Oct 17, 2012.

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  1. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    had a job interview today. i think it went well. she said she'd let me know either today or at least by the end of the week. i really expected to hear something today. i didn't.
    now i feel crushed. i feel like i fell from very high to very low.
    i do realize that it's silly to be so upset because i haven't heard anything yet. that really doesn't mean anything, does it?

    and now i feel so confused. i felt so hopeful and happy earlier, and right now i'm just so exhausted and tired of life again. i'm scared of getting the job, i'm scared of not getting the job. i'm scared. always scared.

    i just think things would be so much easier if i wasn't here. for me anyway.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I do know how this feels, waiting for something good to happen to get me out of 'awful', and fearful it won't happen and worried if it does. I am in a similar circumstance, but I have not interviewed for the job yet. Made the first two screenings, but, I don't know what to do either...but I am glad both you and I are here to talk about it...and yes, life is not easy
  3. rx4brdm

    rx4brdm Well-Known Member

    Follow up on it. All they can say is no.
  4. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    well, i got the job. now i'm so scared. i have never done anything like this before, it's completely new for me. what if i totally screw up? i have never been fired before, i don't think i could handle it. i'm so scared.
    plus, that whole thing with my friend (i explained it all in "crisis").

    i'm feeling..........defeated.

    on top of that, i need a red shirt for the orientation tomorrow, either polo or button down. well, i need long sleeves, thanks to all the scars, and they have to be very long, because the worst scars i have are on my wrists, all the way down to my hands. so, no polo. and red button downs are absolutely impossible to find. i spent three hours earlier trying to find one. i went to a bunch of stores, and then to the mall, walked the entire mall, nothing. i am frustrated and pissed at myself for causing the scars in the first place. i knkow i should/could have cut in different places, less obvious ones, but unfortunately, it only works on my arms.

    i'm exhausted, scared, frustrated.

    i'm going to be the sole breadwinner in this house, that's a lot of pressure. i'm going to have to support four people.
  5. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Congratulations on getting the job honey....... God bless you and make you strong :)
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