Torn inbetween the two

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Shauna Lea, Mar 16, 2008.

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  1. Shauna Lea

    Shauna Lea Staff Alumni

    OK at the moment I'm kind of torn between two people. One being my ex boyfriend. He lied to me for a long time about a lot of things but I still care about him a lot. He's changed and I don't know weather to give him one more chance. The other is a guy who is really nice - one of the nicest people I've ever met in fact. We have been really good friends for like 10 years and he wants more but I'm not sure. If i hang out with one the other gets upset. They don't like each other and they both want to be more than friends with me. I don't know where to turn. Either way I am going to hurt someone as well as myself. At the moment I'm just friends with both of them but it's still so hard! I don't know what I want and I feel like the more this goes on the worse it is getting. It's bringing me down. I feel like I have no choice! I never want to hurt anyone because I know how it feels and now I'm doing it!

    This weekend I'm going to a friends 21st and the guy I've been best friends with for ages will be there. It will be good to catch up with him and Im looking forward to it however of course this causes a problem with my ex. Argh i just dont know! This may sund stupid and trivial to a lot of you but you have to understand. My ex threatened to kill himself when i was with this other guy. And the other guy pretty much moved to my city for me! I feel horrible and I am having thoughts of suicide. I am having nightmares of what could happen and it's stoping me from sleeping. I can't work, I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't live like this! I just don't know what to do anymore..I've had enough!
  2. Bob26003

    Bob26003 Well-Known Member

    Shuana, you need to move on from Blake.

    He is your EX for a reason. He chose to be your ex. You were there for him, he chose to destroy the relationship.

    I say you give this new guy a chance.

    After all, Blake was out sleeping with other Girls right?

    I just see the same thing happening all over again with Blake.

    You will fall madly deeply in love and he will not appreciate it and he will dump you or cheat on you............

    Blake has allready been given so many chances. Its just not fair.
  3. Shauna Lea

    Shauna Lea Staff Alumni

    Thanks Bob! I knew I would get this answer from the people that know me!

    Nobody understands! Maybe I am stupid - but maybe I'm just believing in one true love!
  4. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    Shauna, sweetheart, you need to cut all ties from him, seriously. For your own sanity..:hug:
  5. Bob26003

    Bob26003 Well-Known Member

    Yes, because you are good. :)

    But the question here is: Does he believe the same thing?
  6. Shauna Lea

    Shauna Lea Staff Alumni

    Yes he believes that we should be together so he says.

    I just want to go - it would make everybodies life easier!
  7. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

    shauna :hug: i agree with bob, he been giving way to many chance.

    I'm always here for you hun :hug:
  8. Bob26003

    Bob26003 Well-Known Member


    Ultimately you have to do what you think is right Shauna. (with Blake I mean)

    I don't know him and I don't really know all that he did. But I don't want you to get hurt again.
  9. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    From what I know, Blake hasn't always been a good person for you to be in a relationship with, to say the least.

    By the sounds of it, the other guy deserves a proper chance with you. But from what you posted it sounds like you can't really make up your mind between the two boys. And if that's the case, I think it'd be unfair to both if you'd start a relationship with either of them.
    I know it's hard, but as long as you haven't made up your mind, I'd say it's best to just stay friends with both.

    Sort out what you feel for them before making any moves. Who would you rather be with? Who would be better for you? Who would make you feel loved more than the other?

    When you are certain about wanting to be with one of them, when you know that you won't be having doubts whether you should be with the other instead of the one you're with, then you should make a move.

    It must be so hard, having had one of them threatening to kill himself when you were with the other, and having the other move to your city for you.. But still. Blake was the one who ruined your relationship with his own actions. He can't expect you to not move on from him, that's unfair on his part. And the other guy.. Well he didn't know if you'd want to be with him, so it was at his own risk to move towards you.

    From what I know, the other guy definitely would be a better choice to be in a relationship with, but then again, do not do anything unless your heart wants it for the full 100%.

    If you want to talk, you know how to reach me :hug: :hug:
  10. Shauna Lea

    Shauna Lea Staff Alumni

    I don't want to get hurt either and i know that this other guy would not hurt me. He is such a beautiful person! But something in my heart is yelling at me to go the other way. It's making it all so much harder than it should be. I'm only 19, this shouldn't be happenign!
  11. Carcinogen

    Carcinogen Well-Known Member

    Do you have to choose between the two? Is there any way you can just remain friends with both of them, and wait for someone different, and totally seperate for a relationship? I don't know your history so I can't comment on who to choose.

    Or (probably should ignore this idea, only works in certain circumstances) can you have both?
  12. Shauna Lea

    Shauna Lea Staff Alumni

    I certainly can not have both - I'm not that kind of person and I'm already causing enough pain as it is.

    Your right, i dont have to choose one but i care about them both a lot. i feel like it's one of them that i should be with.
  13. Bob26003

    Bob26003 Well-Known Member

    I say the new guy :)
  14. Carcinogen

    Carcinogen Well-Known Member

    Good luck with making a decision :smile:
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