Isn't it strange, standing on the edge of the abyss, looking death in the eye, to realise how terrified you are? Walking on the path to suicide, planning, winding up my affairs, was comforting in a way. You fear life so run to death, and face it and realise its just as terrifying. And then you have nowhere left to run, fear rules, fear of life on one side, fear of death on the other. Sorry, I just wanted to give voice to my feelings somewhere.