Torn

I broke it of with my partner last sunday after 14yrs together i know it will be hard but i am so lonely now and he wants to prove to me he has changed. I know a lot of ppl on here who know me will tell me to stick to my guns and not take him back but i am torn as i did and still do love him it was just his drinking brought me down. I never expected it to be easy but this is killing me having someone there even if they were drunk for so long to go to nothing. I would appreciate some advice.

 

Very sorry to hear, but things will get better. <3

Please know I'm here if you need to talk.

 

Dawnster let him prove himself first. Let him get sober and stay sober for a while. I know this is hard, but you are dealing with an alcoholic.

Would also suggest Al-Anon for you if they have it in UK, its for partners of alcholics. You will find people there in the same situation as you.

I am always here for you hun.

 

I think you should write down the reasons you asked him to leave. Maybe two columns; reasons you wanted him there and reasons you needed him to leave.

You mentioned it was due to excess drinking. Get more specific in the reasons the excess drinking was causing you problems in your list.

14 years is a very long time, and it will take a good amount of time to be free of the desire to have him back. Pull out your list and read it when you feel the urge to be back together.

Could a relationship work if you both live apart? That way you could go to a peaceful home when the behavior that rips your insides apart starts.

I believe if you take him back you are going to just cycle back to the same spot where you had asked him to leave.

Keep strong for you.

 

Dawn i'm here for you if you would like to talk. I know that its tough for you right now but you are strong enough to get through this, you are better off without someone treating you like he did. It will get easier over time :hug: Love you hun, stay strong.