Have you ever tried to imagine total emptiness, which is impossible now, since whatever this is, this life and everything i can see and imagine is present, but did u ever try to contemplate total emptiness, like the universe getting absrobed and vanishing, like it never had existed, god disappearing, like he never existed, hell and heaven, everything, all energy, just total emptiness for eternity, with no possible chance at life or anything else ever existing. That thought kinda freaks me out. But it is impossible now, since whatever this is, is here, so total emptiness for eternity is impossible, cuz what is this then. I once tried to contemplate that idea and when i pictured it perfectly in my head, i couldnt hold the thought anymore it was so freaky. I know this question is related to the origin of life and meaning of life. Something must of had triggered something. GOING INTO SOMETHING ELSE NOW And I'm here today, kinda hard for me to believe it's random, so even if I left the evil church of christianity I still can't embrace Atheism. All I can be sure of is me, I am me, and I'm not anyone else, sometimes I think that others around me, could be just robots and I'm in some dream or experiment. Anyway, so anything at this point is possible, there isn't just the concrete, there could also be hidden things or the occult. Necessary illusion is important for humans, thus why religions exist, I try to create my own 'sacre', I guess u'd say SACRED in english, my own fantasy. Scientifical atheists consider themselves random machines, literally, kinda hard for me to connect to that.