I have always felt I was nothing. Scratch that lower than nothing. I dropped out of school at 18. I have never had many friends EVER. I got my GED with flying color at 20 but I only did that for my son. I feel like a bad mother though. Leaving him all the time with the babysitter so that I could go to class or work. I felt and still feel like total sh!t. I feel even worse because when I would get out of class I would go right to work at the Day Care and spend time with other peoples children instead of my own. Leaving my son with the babysitter or his father I thought he was well taken care of. I would get off work either go straight home or to the babysitters to pick him up. I would feed him supper give him a bath play for a little and put him to bed. Not once did I ever see anything wrong with my son he is and ALWAYS will be my only happiness in life. However, he had a cough late one night and it went on for a couple of days and started to worry me. I got up the next morning and got my son ready for the day, Got his father up told him what our son had for breakfast and to take him to the doctors. I left for work. I got a phone call around lunch time and it was my sons father. He said that our son was underweight by 2 pounds and that the doctor was calling Children and Youth. They took my son away from me and put him in temporary foster care. I see him only 1 hour a day 2 days a week. I am a total f*ckin failure because I was to stupid to see that he wasnt chunky enough. Because of this I have beaten myself up everyday since he has been gone. They tell me I need to get better before they will give him back to me because I cut and have tried to kill myself when I was younger. Sometimes it seems like it would be easier for me to end it. It would be better for us both. He wouldnt have to see me as the failure I am. He is still young and wont remember me. God right now I just want to f*cking die because I dont know what to do anymore. Just kill me please?