I'm so disappointed in myself. I had a brief sumer fling while I was abroad, when I NEVER get to hook up with ANYBODY at school, and I don't consider myself to be a virgin by choice. I just feel like my virginity holds me basck and belittles me. As a part of the Greek scene at my school, it's so unusual for girls to not hook up with guys or be sexually active. I feel like a leppar. A girl has needs too and I'm so deprived. Nobody ever wants me. Anyway so this guy and I tried having sex and <edit total eclipse triggering>.. I'm so disappointed. I wanted to lose it so badly and my worst fear happened. It was like the window of opportunity closed up and now I can't do it. I'm so scared that I'll be alone forever and never in a relationship and never have sex. He's already left for home and I'm stuck still a virgin. I'm so embarrassed.