Total Failure

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by dreamer11, Jun 19, 2013.

  1. dreamer11

    dreamer11 Member

    I'm so disappointed in myself. I had a brief sumer fling while I was abroad, when I NEVER get to hook up with ANYBODY at school, and I don't consider myself to be a virgin by choice. I just feel like my virginity holds me basck and belittles me. As a part of the Greek scene at my school, it's so unusual for girls to not hook up with guys or be sexually active. I feel like a leppar. A girl has needs too and I'm so deprived. Nobody ever wants me. Anyway so this guy and I tried having sex and <edit total eclipse triggering>.. I'm so disappointed. I wanted to lose it so badly and my worst fear happened. It was like the window of opportunity closed up and now I can't do it. I'm so scared that I'll be alone forever and never in a relationship and never have sex. He's already left for home and I'm stuck still a virgin. I'm so embarrassed.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 19, 2013
  2. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am sorry you are plagued with the doubts and frustrations. I also suspect many of your more sexually active counterparts will have far more regret in years to come than you about actions taken or not taken while in the college scene. I would put some effort and concentrate on the healthy relationship aspect and wait for the sex to take place as natural course of events so it is not another regret or disappointment simply in th erush to have "done it" ......
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Heya, how old are you if you don't mind me asking. I wish I could go back to being a virgin again, its a long time ago but at least I did not have a bad reputation then. I got a bad rep when i was 13-14 and it stayed with me. Give yourself some time, you want it to be special don't you and you want him to respect you? If so, wait for the right guy, the right place and the right time and I am sure you'll look back with fond memories. Best of luck to you. :)
  4. krazor

    krazor Active Member

    Dont look at your virginity as a bad thing its actually pretty awesome. I often recall my teen years and think i wish i had waited and given it to somebody i loved and not during a drunken party which i cant even remember. Its a once in a lifetime thing so treasure it and give it to someone you truly love dont waste it just so you can say im not a virgin. x
  5. snarrylover

    snarrylover Well-Known Member

    Urgh. I hate when people say that virginity isn't a bad thing, or that they wished they had waited for the right person. Those are personal experiences. At least that part of your life has been and gone.

    I can totally understand where you are coming from, dreamer11. Virginity holds me back, too. I've had opportunity to do it a couple of times in the past - it wouldn't have been with the right person and it wouldn't have been full of love or meaning - but it would have "dealt" with that problem. I was too insecure about my body to do it and now I'm 25 and virginity itself is an insecurity. The longer I leave it, the more embarrassing it is to admit to, the more difficult it is to take that step. The very reason I didn't have sex with the last person who showed the slightest bit of interest was because...yup, I'm a virgin. It doesn't even make sense anymore - I won't have sex because I hate being a virgin. WTF? But if I'd had sex already then I wouldn't be so worried about it now.

    I don't really have any advice for you. Just wanted to say I know what it feels like. I know it holds you back.
  6. Big M

    Big M Well-Known Member

    Maybe this is just stupid male advice but I will say this. If you are seriously that desperate to lose it, there is a man out there. It may not be one you are interested in, and I mean no insults to you by this, but seriously most single men are way more desperate for sex than a single female. I have no idea what you look like and I mean no insults to your looks but seriously there are some seriously scary looking chicks that get laid easily. Try being forward and approaching the guy. I suck at approaching women so that's my issue and I know women prefer to be approached but if you try it on a guy I bet you will go home with him. Remember women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place. If you are waiting for the right moment then just wait, but if you just want to lose it and you are a sorority girl I'm sure there's plenty of willing college dudes.
  7. Big M

    Big M Well-Known Member

    And if that was totally unhelpful I will say this, after my last girlfriend and I broke up I feel like I'm going to be alone for along time, maybe forever. So I hear you.