So its been a tough one, a sad and tough one. I feel like I'm going to explode with all going through my mind. Bad news was received regarding the health of someone very close to me, Mo Anam Cara (my soul mate). Tonight I am struggling to remain in control, to appear strong, to carry on and do normal things. My future is coming into question - how and why bother - are some of the questions. But more immediate is how to get through this. I am scared, completely scared.