Tough Love

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MorganaNever, Jan 12, 2012.

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  1. MorganaNever

    MorganaNever Well-Known Member

    It's just insane. One thing falls apart after another. I wonder what is even left to break. I'm just gonna get drunk and listen to music. What else is there?

    One thing I try to do and put effort in just turns out being total shit. I'm sick of nothing having any worth, fighting something totally alone.

    Tough love is the worst, what use do I have from it? Are you going to be my friend and be there when time is the worst or are you gonna act like you're doing me a favor by bringing me down even more and then take credit for any little thing I actually pull trough.

    Its so easy to judge. Tough love just means you're lazy, you have nothing better to offer. You hope the other wont break, it's nothing but a bluff. Tough love is no love.

    Its getting so tiring to count defeats. I want to feel this is just a phase but I'm sick of optimism when you always end up falling apart again.

    So maybe I can't do better. Maybe I don't care anymore. Maybe I'm tired of proving wrong and this time I'll prove you right.

    I admire all of those who made it, all of those who went trough shit and got out themselves. I respect it all. I never claimed I have it the hardest, but its just the hardest it ever was for me. Sometimes I just want a break, Ill become a completely different person and hide myself from it all.

    Sorry, just venting. Another amazing evening... and things were just getting better...
  2. In Limbo

    In Limbo Forum Buddy

    Thinking of you...C
  3. brunswick

    brunswick Active Member

    things get worse (or better) only if you compare
    but what do you compare it with?
    often, it is just our feelings blowing up our frustrations
    our minds making more of what defeats us

    it is actually a defense mechanism
    meant, evolved over time, to get you off your butt and do something
    when in truth
    it usually isn't as bad as it seems

    bad as we feel, we actually
    want to feel better
    want to do better
    want to live better

    much as we want to give up, we actually
    don't want to give up
    but yearn so much for something better
    that the present seem unbearable

    the desperation and tiredness we feel is because
    we hate being defeated, being put down, being hurt
    we feel so negative because we hate feeling negative
    so our minds and emotions make us feel even worse
    to try and get us to do something about it

    good that you vent
    good that you don't accept what is dished out
    better if you realize that this is you fighting back
    and really, really, fight back
    - not violently -
    but make things better for yourself
    and others

    why get drunk and disable your ability to make changes
    and make a difference to your own life?
    listen to music and dance
    so that you can remember this good time
    and know that you can make yourself happy
    even for a short while
    so that you can gather your strength
    and do something positive
    for more lasting happiness

    here's to you
  4. MorganaNever

    MorganaNever Well-Known Member

    I wish we could talk.
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