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train tracks

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by _Lily_, Apr 3, 2011.

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  1. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    My husband thinks there nothing wrong ... am in the bed room and my husband is in the living room playing his games , talking to a friend on x box .

    I dont want to say anything and spoil his happy mood and his fun

    I'll be fine just my mind is fucked at the moment and its thinking a way of me dying
    I have my 16 year old niece and her boyfriend here but there still sleeping

    i cant even slit my wrists right ...i dont cut deep enough and there is the pain as well.

    I cant OD because my husband now has all the pills some where else were i cant get them

    what other options do i have ?
    nothing i can do with out my husband noticing am doing something
    Maybe i can walk out the house go to the train station and jump the lines
    I dream about doing that at night my voices tell me to go and do it
    I can hear the trains the noise of them going over the tracks
    I will just lay there ready for death to come

    He would notice me leave ...come after me ...tell me to come home

    I should get ready to go ... maybe he wont notice this time
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    other options is to stay
    safe and loved with your husband
    get your meds changed a bit so these thought are not as frequent okay
    stay here with us keep talking so we can help too hugs
  3. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    told my husband what i was wanting to do he is supportive
    the train tracks keep calling me over and over ....
    My husband locked the front door so i cant get out.
    We are going out later to an AA meeting as its important that i go there .
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am glad you and hubby will be going out together to AA hugs to you
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    You don't want to jump in front of s train.. It will mangle your body all to hell.. Then there is the possibilty that you won't die instantly..You will just lie there missing limbs and bleeding out..Those are the hard facts..You need to put your effort in getting better.. Join a depression group where you are talking to people with the same problems..Your husband is a hell of a guy in my book.. He obviously loves you...
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