Trans Cutter...

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by feathers, Nov 9, 2009.

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  1. feathers

    feathers Well-Known Member

    I've been cutting for the past week and a half or two weeks? I started because I was feeling the urge to hurt myself and even kill myself, and when I started cutting it stopped me feeling suicidal, so I have continued every time I feel like shit or my gender issues are getting me down.

    My mam is being an absolute bitch about all of this (my gender issues). She was upset, saying that she doesn't want me to have to go through so much non-essential surgery, and thinks it's pointless as it isn't life-saving surgery. I told her about the suicide rate of transpeople (this was about 3 weeks ago when I was feeling suicidal but not cutting). Tonight I was talking to her and she accused me of this time 3 weeks ago "playing the suicide card".

    So that pretty much throws any chance of my telling her I get suicidal/am cutting out of the window. But then again, I always knew that if I did actually tell her, she would call me an attention seeker... (I'm sure if I wanted attention more than 2 people in my life would know - and one of them is my doctor).
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I'm really sorry she reacted that way. :hug: A lot of people tend to judge someone who is suicidal or self-harming by calling them attention-seeking, when in actuality it's the furthest thing from the truth.
  3. Scully

    Scully Well-Known Member

    You should see a psychiatrist, they see things like that all the time. IN free help centers, it's even better. It's said these centers aren't good, but so far, it's there I've felt the better. You can be followed by several specialist, and at least your file doesn't get lost here and there. People don't understand self-harming, they think we do it on purpose, and that's not true. I can relate a lot with you on what I lived in my teens. ((( hugs ))), hold on in here. Talk to me if you want.
  4. Blue_Star

    Blue_Star Member

    I'm sorry to read your Mother reacted that way. There are so many people out there who can & will be able to relate, to offer understanding & compassion. Are there any others in your life right now that you might be able to talk to about things, or give a try with? If not, reaching out online perhaps? There's one site ( that has a lot of support & info focusing specifically on trans people - for those dealing with suicidal thoughts/self harming. My mind's a bit off tonight but I do also know of a lot of other resources/books/etc. regarding gender issues - if you're interested, let me know here or in a PM.

    Things can get easier & there's people out there who will not react in that way & can offer help. Keep hanging on & doing what you need to do to hang on. Don't know how old you are or the specifics of your situation, but if you're living with family, as time goes on they may change & learn & accept - or it may be that once you are able to move out that you're able to find some amazing people. Keep holding on & know you're strong. :hug:
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