What the hell, I don't even have the energy to compose this. I'm transgender. I was born with a female body but I identify as male. I feel like I have no one to turn to. There are so few resources for people like me. Society couldn't give two shits about me. My parents don't support me. My mom used to be abusive physically and verbally. Verbally, it's still horrendous. I have PTSD and the flash backs of abuse are incapacitating. I'm an alcoholic, a cutter, a burner, and an eating disorder enthusiast. I am faced with the choice of starting hormonal therapy, inviting all kinds of health risks, and plunging my body into this huge scary alteration, or staying stuck as a girl and still being miserable. I feel like I'm screaming inside for the world to help me, to recognize that trans people exist and have needs, but no one fucking cares about us. There are so few resources. I'm like, begging to have a place in this world, for my unique issues to be worth investigating and addressing. I can't stop cutting even though the wounds got infected and I had to nurse them back to health. I want to go crazy with a bottle of vodka and slit my wrists. I wish there was more for people like me. I guess we were destined to be alone simply by being born. If I can't reconcile these choices soon, I am going to die. If I don't find an answer, I am going to end it all. Because the current limitations of society are conducive to my suicide.