Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by swimmergirl, Jan 19, 2013.

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  1. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    When you cross over from just thinking about killing yourself every day, to putting together the details, planning, gathering, thinking through obstacles, and finally deciding that the pain outweighs any sliver of hope you might still have, do you start to feel a little bit of relief, a little bit of control again, a sense that everything is finally going to be alright? I'm there.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Yes hun you feel like you have control that is sign of depression it tricks your mind into thinking everything will soon be alright but it won't be hun You will only cause so much pain not only for you hun but for others Reach out now hun ok now and get support you deserve ok now
  3. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    Im afraid to tell anyone that my thoughts have changed, and yet here I am telling a bunch of people I don't know. what's wrong with me?
  4. Tired John

    Tired John Well-Known Member

    Hi Swimmer girl. I can very much identify with what you are saying, my experience has been very similar. A sense of peace came over me when I decided that I will at some point, opt out. Much like having a huge weight lifted that was crushing me. I have my exit strategy ready to go, with the exception of a time frame. I'll know when it's time. I also haven't, can't, and won't share this with anyone in my real life. I've stopped guilting myself over it, quite honestly. I look at the world around me, both me personal life and the wider scope of our society as it plummets into disaster, and see no reason to want to witness what's coming. I know, deep down inside of me, it's not going to get better, either for me or for other havenots. It's going to get worse, much, much worse. I don't see anything wrong with you at all, I see a reflection of myself. I think the insane ones are those running the show.
  5. paulhewson

    paulhewson Well-Known Member

    You can tell perfect strangers things you would never tell your friends and family.
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