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transsexuals and suicide?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by TaraJo, Jul 14, 2009.

  1. TaraJo

    TaraJo Banned Member

    So, I was very interested in seeing that there's a forum specifically for sexual orientation here. I don't know if my situation is exactly the same; my sexual orientation isn't what's important to me but my gender identity is. I am a transsexual woman. I've found alot of transwomen have suicidal tendancies at some point or another. I have a trans friend who regularly cuts herself just to watch it bleed and nearly killed herself about a week ago. Then there's me and I nearly did myself in last night. So, I'm just wondering if there are any other trans people here who can relate to some of the things I've been through that I can talk to.
  2. Malcontent

    Malcontent Staff Alumni

    Transman here (non op though, I have naturally high levels of testosterone)
  3. kurenai

    kurenai Well-Known Member

    I may just be a plain ol lesbian, but my girlfriend is transgender. We both have depression issues, but only I self-injure. Her coping mechanism is injuring me, however, that needs to be fixed big time. Anyway, if you need to talk PM me anytime! I probably know some things that can help you.
  4. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    what is it about your gender identity that is making you feel so awful? is it the people around you or feelings about your body or both?

    my ex gf 'was a pre op transman' when i last talked to her, (she was on testosterone at the time.) those words so cold... she was far more than that but had complicated issues, and i was in a similar situation to the above poster. i could see her struggle though, every day- i felt it was similar to my eating disorder.

    i'm still figuring out who i am, it's taken a long while and i've identified loosely as gender queer in the past.

    if you feel like talking i don't mind listening anytime.

    take care.
  5. Atheist Demon

    Atheist Demon Account Closed

    I am bisexual, and me telling no one, and the boy I loved doesn't feel the same about me. I hate the fact I am bisexual cause I feel that ppl would hate me cause of that. I wish I had the balls to kill myself. I just don't give a fuck anymore.
  6. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    I share your dream, as well as the dream where no one, regardless of gender identity issues, or sexual orientation abuse their loved ones and reject and belittle her/him when s/he starts voicing what was kept silent.

    It's a dream and it won't ever happen.
  7. just.me

    just.me Account Closed

    I think transgenders are depressed mainly because they feel like they are weird
    or different (like freaks or something).
    It is logical if we look at the society we live with, where people who are
    "not normal" are outcasts, and no one wan to be an outcast.

    As for me, i have an opposite issue
    i am straight guy, but i cant deal with women psychology
    so im just waiting and hoping that one day ill find a girl that will know
    exactly what is going on in my head, and i will know what is in her head
    and i think it will be a very good foundation for wonderful relations.
    And she dont even have to sacrifice her ability to enjoy sex with me (final trans stage)

    problem is that if ill tell SOMEONE that i prefer transgenders
    i will end up all alone with a big "OUTCAST" tag on me
    so all i can do is wait and hope that ill find the one girl and to plan our
    escape together, towards a new beginning, a new life
  8. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    I always thought trans women would have more female psychology than male ..that is why they are trans and have the op in the first place..but I may be wrong!I know nothing about these things! Its just the few I ever met were not LIKE men at all in their mentality.They are women in every sense of the word...and even had the same or similar viewpoints about men as non trans women.Just a thought.
  9. just.me

    just.me Account Closed

    yes but what is interesting is that they KNOW what its like to be a guy
    which means that its easier for them to know what is there in my head
    and i get a share of it too as i sort of know what they know...
    thing is that mentality is far from everything
    there are hormones, and other stuff, that are different from males to females (from birth that is)
  10. Malcontent

    Malcontent Staff Alumni

    Transwomen don't know what it's like to be a guy because they're not guys. I can only speak from the opposite side of the coin but I don't know what it's like to be a woman, I might have a little more insight than the average guy but that doesn't mean I know what it's like to be a woman, because I'm not one. Women confuse me just as much as they confuse anyone, and there's no secret to understanding women, they're individuals (trans or not) just as each man is an individual. If having the same biological gender made relationships easier there wouldn't be misunderstandings and arguments in gay relationships would there. Sorry but if you think that a transwoman is gonna be pleased that you like her because "she knows what it's like to be a guy" you're in for a shock.
  11. TaraJo

    TaraJo Banned Member

    Half right there. I don't know what it's like to be a guy because, at best, I was a sorry excuse for a guy. I never really felt like calling myself a man ever fit. In middle school, high school and everywhere else I tried to be a guy, I was the outcast that didn't fit in with any of them. On those rare occasions when a girl would give me the chance to be friends, those were the only times I felt like I fit in.

    Howver, I do understand men in ways other women can't. How many women have first hand experience on how testosterone impacts you? How many women have first hand experience on what feels good on a male body? How many women really understand what goes on in mens locker rooms or other men only places? I have experience there and most women don't.

    Yeah, I can see how a guy could find that attractive. Sadly, most of the ts world just considers guys like that "chasers" and they shun you. I think it's kinda hypocritical; we ask the rest of the world to accept us and when someone does, we can't accept him. I think I'm the rarity in the ts community: I will openly say that I am willing to date a guy who is specifically looking for a ts girl as long as it's not some sexual objectification fetish thing.

    As for why being trans is painful, there are kinda two levels to it. First off, most trans people I know transitioned simply because we reached a point in our lives where living as the wrong gender was simply too psychologically painful. We usually transition as a way to prevent suicide. However, when we do transition, it can really hurt when we find ourselves rejected by our old family and friends when we need them the most. I always thought my family would be there for me.... but I was wrong. Doesn't help that the rest of the world considers us a bunch of freaks or they look at us as the butt of jokes.
  12. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Can't figure out why someone would ever do that to themselves.

    I mean, sure you're unhappy as the gender you are, but no matter what you have cut off you will always be the gender out were born as.

    Plus, it's easy to find a partner when your gay/lesbian, whereas it would be pretty hard to find a partner after you change without lying to them, which would be a cruel thing to do.

    Overall I can't see how it would be worth it. Mainly for the reason that you can't ever actually change genders coupled with the fact that few will go for transexuals that aren't looking for gratification of some weird sexual niche.
  13. TaraJo

    TaraJo Banned Member

    You are correct, sir, even if you do make yourself sound like an idiot in the process: I can't change my gender... and I'm not trying to. Gender is what's between my ears while sex is what's between my legs. I have ALWAYS been a girl in my mind and now I'm just changing the rest of my body to fit that.

    And, yes, if it was just about finding a partner, it would be ALOT easier to find one if I were just gay/lesbian.... but there's more to it than that. Me, I would rather be a celibate woman than a man getting all the sex in the world. Yeah, dating is more difficult now, but overall, I'm happier.

    And there ARE things we can change. You have no idea the psychological impact it has on a person when you have the "wrong" hormone running through your body. You have no idea how much it hurts to look in the mirror every day and hate what you see. You have no idea how it feels to be disgusted by your own body because you know it's just wrong. I'd much rather change what I can then to spend years and years knowing that so much of me is just.... WRONG.

    I dunno; I guess it's something you really can't explain to someone who hasn't lived it, can you? Truth is, I don't just want this, I NEED this. If I had to choose between "going back" or death, I would probably choose death. Yes, it is that important to me.
  14. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    That's pretty fucked up.
  15. Malcontent

    Malcontent Staff Alumni

    Fantastic post!
  16. xan

    xan Chat Buddy

    I seem to remember watching a program that said when they looked at the brains of transgenders there was almost always a part of the brain (which is different for males and females) that would look like the persons desired (true) gender. I dunno, seemed interesting to me.
  17. Necromanti

    Necromanti Well-Known Member

    Since I'm too lazy to write a full-fledged post, I'm going to post this link. :tongue:

    Symmetry Of Homosexual Brain Resembles That Of Opposite Sex, Swedish Study Finds.
  18. TaraJo

    TaraJo Banned Member

    It's deeper than that, actually. There's a huge difference between being gay and being trans. Honestly, I don't know very many trans people who prefer the opposite gender exclusively. There are alot of trans lesbians out there and were I more familiar with trans guys, I would probably know alot of gay trans men. But, yeah, my brain is a girls brain and I can't change that. I can either accept it or fight it..... and I already tried fighting it and didn't like the end result.

    There is scientific research to back me up on this. Truth is, there is even a study that says transsexuality has a genetic component. And, yes, like I've mentioned, a male-to-female transsexuals brain will be designed more like a womans brain than a mans brain.

    It's not a sexual thing, either. It pisses me off more than just about anything when someone suggests it is. Honestly, when I started on hormones (and alot of other M2F transsexuals say the exact same thing), my sex drive just about died..... and I liked it. Truth is, the earliest memory of me having trans-gender thoughts was probably when I was three years old and I used to pretend to be pregnant with and then breast feed my stuffed animals. I didn't even know what sex was then!

    Sorry if I'm ranting here.
  19. sarah2501

    sarah2501 Member

    Hi, I'm post op TS so I'll answer any questions you have from my own perspective.

    Sarah x
  20. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni