I don't know where to begin, I feel awful, I just want to die, can't see a bit of hope. I've registered here almost 10 years ago. This is my new profile under similar nick since I forgot my old password and changed an email address in the meanwhile. My life hasn't improved a bit since. I know I would have killed myself a million times already if it wasn't for my mother. She's a good and carrying mother. I said my story earlier, but I will repeat it in short, I am 32, unemployed, single...in short I don't have a life. I lost all of a few friends I had. I can't get a job, I tried but it just doesn't work because of bad economic situation in my country and because I don't have anyone to recommend me to employers, I don't have connections and you just can't get a job without it. I've been depressed for like 10 years or more, It seems like I used to it, and I almost didn't feel it for last 4-5 years, except for some moments. I've just turned to zombie. I've always had a poor social skills, though I was a good looking guy I never had a true love, and I had opportunities, I just blew everything, I missed so much things in my life. Now I am completely alone. I spend my days watching movies, reading or just going out walking on the streets without purpose. I just need someone to hug me, love me and I don't have it... I always ask myself what I've done wrong to deserve this, I wasn't a bad guy...everything in my life was wrong, everything... I want to get drunk just like my late father used to, since I can't kill myself yet...I want to escape this bad world...:sorrow: PS Excuse my english, its not perfect.