I thought I was getting better. In many ways I have been, but there is only so much the medication can do. I can't escape this. I can't make the suicidal thoughts stop no matter how hard I try. I didn't want to come back here because I don't want to bother anyone and who am I to seek anything from others? I can't help anyone else when they are down, so why should I deserve any sympathy? Maybe typing this out will help some.